is estranged but it has been that way since SO divorced many years ago when she was 18.  The divorce was not amicable and BM Darth Vader really pulled some real jedi mind tricks to alienate all the kids.  She lives in the Carribean with her boyfriend but I've never met her and that's all we know of her current life.

Bratty resisted and maintained a relationship with SO.  SS25 was alienated for awhile but now he and SO have some contact adn get together for lunch about once a month or so.  But still a distant relationship since he still lives with Darth Vader.

I too, wonder what is going on in their heads and how they are able to fabricate a new truth that they seem to fully believe. My SD is 14 going on 15 and is fully estranged from DH and has been for almost 2 years now. She broke the estrangement after a year and a half to get money and lay out her demands to see if it would work. She successfully got money from DH but when he refused to give in to her ridiculous demands she went no contact again and we haven't heard from her since. 

The initial reasons for cutting off DH in the first place because we were having a baby girl together and wouldn't terminate, we didn't buy her stuff, and we didn't have to right deodorant for her (the deodorant was a HUGE issue). Then several months later she threw a fit telling everyone we used her and only tried to buy her love with gifts. She said she didn't want anything from us.

When she reappeared a year and a half later Dh gave her money but he was under the impression that it was an emergency. He took her to dinner and she told him I will only see you for luch/dinner dates, you can give me money, if I need a ride anywhere, help with her driver's permit, and a car soon but that's it. She told him she didn't want to live with him, visit longer than 30 minutes, go to our home, see her siblings, visit any of Dh's family. Dh told her that was not acceptable behavior and he was not going to have a relationship under conditions. That was fine with her and she walked out. We have no clue where she is exactly living. All we know is she has a serious boyfriend who she claims to be marrying and "can't wait to start their life and family togther". I'm pretty sure a pregnancy isn't too far away at this point. She'll be 15 so it's right on track with the rest of her family.

I just don't understand how you cut off family like that especially when they did nothing wrong. I was there witness to it all and the only thing we did was have a new baby and DH refused to give in to ridiculous conditions. This equaled a lifetime ban in her eyes.

Sorry you are going through this. It's a sad situation but I don't think these people are sound in the head. I know my SD made up a completely different childhood that she fully believes even though there are mountains of proof to prove otherwise. They hold on to tiny insignificant things and build their hatred and resentment off of it. I doubt they will ever realize what they are doing is wrong. They will just continue this tactic in every relationship they have and probably live a very problematic life.

It's pretty clear that her mother has executed a PAS campaign.  She has reduced him to the bottom line denominator of his checkbook... period.

She has convinced her child that he has somehow failed her as a father.  that she was abandoned... that he failed to adequately make space for her in his life (and things like that trip are ammunition).  She has instilled a belief in her that he isn't relevant in her life unless he can give her things she wants.

And.. with continued lack of contact.. that pattern and believe system just reinforces itself.  And... on his part, he likely has pulled back as he has been hurt by her treatment.. but he also has likely been unhappy with her behavior.

It kind of is a self fulfilling prophecy when mom tells her what her dad did or did not do.. and he has little opportunity to change the narrative.

add in that many teens are incredibly self centered and really only interested in how others can benefit them.

Being an alienated kid is like being in a cult. They truly believe the ridiculous things that are taught to them by the cult leader (alienated parent).   

There seems to be a lot of issues with kids like this, they are entitled and unreasonable. They are out to punish, humiliate and use. There is no making them happy. I believe even if the alienating parent is around less the effects linger. BM used to go on and on to SS, when he was little,about how stupid, useless, and bad his father was. Even though he has lived with us for a few years now, he still tends to look down on his dad. I believe he's view of his father will always be twisted thanks to her.

Especially the sd's. They cut off contact from their dad for 5.5 yrs, then guilted him for moving on with his "new family", guilted him for replacing them with the new family. They were gutted when daddy didn't try chasing after them and pining for them after they disappeared.

16 plus yr my husband lived that manipulative bullshit they learned from batshit crazy hcgubm. Hubbys dad told him enough is enough and divorce this bitch. Your kids aren't worth it to sabotage your career and destroy your happiness and stay married to that lazy abusive cow

My husband for yrs after the divorce had his siblings try to hook him up with another woman. When he heard they were asian he flat out refused. His asian country every single woman he was introduced by a coworker or friend turned out to be a cheating hoe!!

Suddenly hubby and me got introduced by a mutual friend. She said trust me this one is really good and not like the others you dated.. oh hell dod batshit crazy exwife lose it. Called my elder sil ranting on how i was some half naked christian slutty etc when she's been hobagging her ex high school sweetheart when still married to my husband. Skids know this, its not rocket science but they excuse it. Its a real slap in the face to my husband.

anytime we flew overseas to Australia (where i'm from), eldest adult sd would have some non emergent emergency and expect hubby drop everything for her. Apparently hubby was expected to pull string for sd'a cousin from batshit crazy family (you know the ones who abused, threatened to shoot and stab my husband to death, who never maintained any contact), yeah well sd's cousing sucked shit at the interview and sd wanted hubby to get her the job

hubby told her clearly she sucked that bad which is why she never got a callback. She didn't meet their minimum standards and he isn't gonna get a job for her!!

another time at midnight we were about 2 hrs away from where ss was at a mini getaway. We're in bed and hubby gets a call thinking its a emergency. It wasn't. Ss fuc*ed up his laptop then tells daddy how he is taking that nice touchscreen laptop at home. Hubby is like what laptop? We don't have a touchscreen laptop. Then hubby realised it was my laptop that i used for uni and to play movies/cartoons for the kids

hubby told him off that was my property and he'd have to ask me. I told hubby ss can get stuffed!! No way is that abusive prick who takes pleasure in shunning me and our kids, constant disrespect telling you he will take my stuff. He can go to the fuc*ing library like every other kid who doesn't own a computer 

another time both our kids were due for their immunisation at the hospital they were born. We are leaving the house and ss20 demands hubby tkae him grocery shopping to but supplies for uni. Yes he expected hubby to ditch us

oh and my favourite one was during our 3rd-4th wedidng anniversary, it was such a busy time for hubby and so i planned a weekend getaway at a nice hotel, we'll call it the "expected sex romp vacay", ss20 as usual gives no notice to hubby and demands hubby pick him up immediately from his uni (a 2 hr drive away) on Friday afternoon when hubby has board meetings. Hubby tells him to catch an ubar like he normally does

ss gets home and tells ss that we're leaving tomorrow for a mini getaway so ss will need to book an uber to go back to uni on sunday. I kid you not, ss told hubby "no you pick me up sunday"

haha!! Yeah delusional ss expected hubby drive a 1.5 hr trip from the hotel to home (thats if no traffic jam), wait the usual 30 mins as ss is never on bloody time, drive about 2 hours to his uni and then 30mins to the hotel. A total of 4.5-5 hrs ss expected hubby to just ditch me with our then 1.5 & 2.5 yr old to play chauffeur for ss.

my husband said no, you have 2 options, you come with us to hotel and we have lunch then you catch uber back to university or you can arrange an uber sunday from home. I'm so proud of my husband for doing this on his own. Even hubby knew how messed up this was and no way is any man in their right mind, ditching his wife on their sexy getaway when they wanna have as much intimacy and sex as possible to play chauffeur for half the friggin day?? Hubby knew if he did play chauffeur, he wouldn't be getting sex anytime soon..

thing is, my husband de stresses with sex (apparently in soms article this is how men effectively de stress), so when skids snd batshit crazy exwife is having skids drum up all kinds of shi*, hubby wants sex with me to destress from it.