SeeYouNever's Blog
a regular day for me but not DH
I waited some time to not dox anyone with accurate data but my SD recently had a birthday.
My DH tried several times to call her on her birthday and every time it went to VM. She replied very sweet and graciously to texts, even though calling her right after a thank you text went right to VM.
My DH is obviously upset to be entirely shut out of SDs birthday. We didn't expect to be invited to the gala (and it was a GALA) but to not answer or return calls/texts was not expected because my SD is generally polite.
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Dance double standard
My in laws never missed one of SD's dance recitals, as long as SD, BM or DH asked them to go, they went. Recitals were always on Father's Day weekend.
SD is doing a high school dance team now and hasn't had a recital since before COVID and before DH and I had our kids. But if there is an SD event the in laws always make sure to be there.
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SM and BM hanging out in the afterlife
My Brother's FIL lost his wife, my SIL's SM, about a year ago. Today he posted a sad but sweet birthday wish for her and thanking her for the best years of his life. This man has been married 3 or so times and has multiple ex BMs and sets of kids. My SIL is the youngest and was just one of a harem of adult mini wives.
One of his daughter's commented under his sad birthday post to his DECEASED WIFE "I love you daddy! I know SM is smiling on you and loving you. She's with BM and celebrating the love they share for you, your kids and family"
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Throwing money away
SD15s birthday is coming up. I'm honestly not even sure when DH has last spoken to her or gotten a message reply. BM still asks for money monthly for SDs extracurriculars and DH pays who knows if she's still doing them.
DH has no idea what to give her and is thinking about just sending a $1000 gift card. That's a lot of money for someone that won't speak to you! He might get a 2 minute phonecall out of this... She didn't acknowledge her Christmas gifts.
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My SIL's SM is on her deathbed
My brother's wife is the youngest child of a guy who has been married 4 times. I will refer to her as daddys little princess from now on (she's 29 by the way) BM3 is her mom and he's currently married to SM who is dying of cancer. She has her own kids from a previous marriage too. BM3 never remarried and is insufferable and obnoxious. SM was a firecracker and had her obnoxious moments as well (dad has a type). When I met her she introduced herself as "the evil step mom" and I said "hey me too!"
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Family memberships
This is super petty and I know it. We have memberships to a bunch of different museums and things like that in our area. We go all the time to all the events. Every other weekend there is something to do.
We have family memberships and have to list the children and ages so we list our kids and SD15. In all the years we have had these family memberships do you know how many times SD15 has gone with us to anything?
Big fat zero!
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What was the turning point for you?
What was the turning point in your step life? It seems everyone is on the before or after of disengagement and otherwise being over it.
I never liked the idea of being a stepmom but I gave it an honest go for a while.
For me the turning point was when SD got her own cell phone and never answered DH or me unless it was a holiday or she wanted something. DH couldnt blame BM for interfering with their relationship anymore. That's when I knew the alienation was complete.
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DH is done with SD15
SD15 won't talk to DH, what else is new. For a few months now he's been saying that she only talks to him when she wants something. I think SD has reached dead to him status because he doesn't even mention her anymore and he's stopped telling our kids about their older sister. Lately when he talks about our kids it seems like they are the only ones he has, like he refers to them as the first and second instead of second and third.
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Yes let's concern ourselves with BMs marriage
BM herself stays out of our life, she just crawls out from her rock periodically to demand money, but other than that it's not much of a problem. As always the issue is my meddlesomeSIL!
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The Deep Dark Secret
I'm all in my feels today because I've got a lot of stress with work and my DH is in one of his mopey moods.
How do I get over the fact that my DH is hurt by SD15 wanting nothing to do with us?
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