Feeling guilty
Hello, this is my first blog here. I could really use some advice in dealing with my step kids. I feel like I'm at my limit in patience. I am a 33 year old mom to a wonderful and impressionable 11 almost 12 year old boy. He is sincerely the light of my life. His biological father has not been around since he was 2, and we are better off for that (he was severely abusive and scary). Some years ago I entered into a relationship with a wonderful man, who I had been friends with for years. He is amazing with my son, we are both very fortunate to have him in our lives. He has 2 children with his ex wife, an almost 18 year old son, and an almost 20 year old daughter. It took quite some time for his daughter to stop being disrespectful to me, and our relationship is Luke warm at best. His son and I have got along almost from the start. Recently however, I feel awful, but I can't stand being around either of them. I am fed up with seeing the pain in their Dads eyes with how they treat him. They are disrespectful and frankly I don't want them around my son. Their mother, and step father has spoiled them to the point they feel entitled. Constantly they are telling us how everything they have makes everything we have look like crap. I'm sick of the constant comparisons to our car isn't as nice as step dad's 3 trucks, our grill us crap compared to the one they got step dad for Father's day, especially where in the last 3 years they got their actual father nothing. I know what your wondering....He was an active parent, volunteering at their school, coaching their sports, taking them on vacations. After 10+ years of cheating on him their mom decided it was time he lose his children too. He pays major child support, and we scrape by, which is fine. I'm losing my patience with these almost adult spoiled brats. He will say and do nothing. I am constantly getting praise for how wonderful my son is, how respectful, how helpful and giving, then these monsters.... any advice is greatly appreciated. I'm running out of fake smiles and ways to just walk away from it like I was asked to.
HELP!!
- ShaeLee's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Hopefully your financial
Hopefully your financial situation will improve soon--if the younger is almost 18 is CS soon to end?
Aside from that, sounds like these skids just visit and make snide comments. Make yourself scarce during those visits. Go do something fun with your son.
As far as the rude comments go...assuming you have discussed your feelings with your husband, I'd attack those comments head on. These are not toddlers, they are an adult and an almost adult. "Oh, your step-dad has a nicer truck? We'd have one too except we actually plan to have a retirement" "We will definitely be able to afford a much nicer grill in a year when child support ends!" "You know, your constant comparisons are rude and disrespectful. Your dad and I work hard for what we have. Such comments need to stop. If I hear something of that sort come out of you again, I will immediately interrupt you and end the conversation."
What does your husband do when this crap is going on?
I don't know about the
I don't know about the comments but I really feel the same as you do about your son and having those kids around him. My son is also a beautiful, gentle young man and my skid is rude and misbehaved and I really worry about that rubbing off on him. It's really hard to deal with kids that are very different to your own
Stop faking. These are
Stop faking. These are adults, they don't need kid gloves.
One thing I say is that's interesting. It can be positive and negative.