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I want to disengage

shellbell's picture

Submitted by shellbell on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 11:53am

I'm ready to disengage its been a long time coming really, ss14 has pushed me too far. How is this supposed to work when I have the skids every other week all summer? Dh isn't crazy about it but I told him I've had enough, if my kids treated him the way his son treats me i would completly back him up. I'm just so sick and tired of the attitude over every little thing no matter what i ask him to do or not do. Dh acts like i'm giving up, I'm not I'm trying to save my sanity. I guess I'm hoping when all is said and done maybe I'll even like ss again because at this point I don't not one little bit. I just had to get this out I have noone to talk to who would understand.

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alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 12:00pm

make plans, don't be home. Go out.

Take bubble baths, let them do their own thing and you do yours. I will get them more this summer too and I have to figure out how to remain "separate" while they are here so much.

It will cause friction because my SO will want me to be all happy and engage in activities with them. I can't do it.

shellbell's picture

Submitted by shellbell on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 12:48pm

Thank you for the links, that is really going to help me. I'm going to show dh tonight then hopefully he will understand that i'm not giving up I'm trying to find a solution. He's just as fed up as I am he just doesn't know what to do either. Its strange but I already feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders!

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 12:37pm

when I have the skids every other week all summer
+++++++++++++++++++++
What does this mean? Do you work? How old are they and your bios?

shellbell's picture

Submitted by shellbell on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 12:43pm

I'm a stay at home mom so its just me and the 5 kids until dh gets home, the only good thing is dh will be on vacation for a week when we have them and a week in june the 3 boys will go to boyscout camp. ss14,ss11,sd10,ds12,dd9

shellbell's picture

Submitted by shellbell on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 12:55pm

I was taking a class to work from home but Its hard to even study with all the kids, when its just my two its fine. I refuse to leave ss14 home by himself he is not trustworthy at all, I've left ds12 home by himself for an hour or two at a time but he's more responsible. I'm just kind of stuck daycare costs would kill us we are barely scraping by as it is. I might just see if mil would take them she doesnt work now, the only problem with that is when they come back from her house they get the entitlement attitude from her spoiling them.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 1:20pm

right! don't tip your hand or else you'll have WWIII on your hands. Just make a study of the links along with vickmeister's borderline communication link and practice, practice, practice!

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 1:48pm

Seriously, listen to vickmeister and auteur. I have made progress with their advice. Slowly my backbone is forming again.

shellbell's picture

Submitted by shellbell on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 1:57pm

I think you're right, even if I do try to explain he still wont get it and I don't want anymore fighting about the skids, I really hope things turn around I am at the end of my rope.