This was our weekend, and we just got a call that BM is in the hospital. We don't know much, but she was having some chest pains, and so she went to the ER. Apparently she medication she's on has been damaging her heart, and she now has the heart of a 75 year old.

This is a super scary time. I don't know how to feel; everything I'm feeling seems very self centered and selfish. If she has long term repercusions from this (or even dies !) what will this mean for our custody agreement? SS5 needs a real mom, and it scares me to think that I might be called on to fill that role.

Kind of freaking out!!