You are here

SS7 - Always In Trouble

Siferra's picture

Submitted by Siferra on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 1:59pm

We're having a tough time with SS7. We have him every weekday evening and every other weekend.

The trouble is that he's constantly in trouble at school. He is in a special needs class, and in the class they get five "pennies" a day, and can lose them for bad behavior, and earn them back for good behavior. They also use time outs for more serious offenses.

There hasn't been a day this year that he has ended the day with 5 pennies.

There was a parent teacher conference a couple of weeks ago and DH has been getting tougher about SS's school behavior. When he comes home if he has lost any pennies or had any time outs he loses toys, doesn't get to play on the computer, and gets no dessert. And, I agree something needs to be done - every day SS is pushing other kids, not doing his work, not following instructions, etc.

However, it makes me sad that SS is *always* in trouble. Every day is a bad day at school, so every evening is full of consequences. It has to be disheartening for SS to be constantly told he needs to improve.

Any ideas on how to be encouraging or uplifting for a kid that just refuses to behave? He's a good kid at heart, he just keeps having bad days.

Comments

tweetybird74's picture

Submitted by tweetybird74 on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 2:04pm

Does the school let you know what he has gotten in trouble for? Are these serious offences or is he just getting off task or not listening? If you knew what he was getting in trouble for them your DH could tailor his punishments at home to fit the crime so to speak.

Siferra's picture

Submitted by Siferra on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 2:06pm

Yeah, he can list them off "One penny for not listening, another cause I didn't do my work, and a time out because I hit Jimmy"

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 2:19pm

Is he in any type of therapy? Do you have any indication as to why he does these things? Has his teacher noticed any specific triggers that tend to set him off?

Maybe you can adjust the system to be something positive based - like if he comes home with 5 pennies he gets a treat? Maybe purchase a few things you know he'll LOVE and keep them in a box in his eyesight. Remind him everyday that if he gets 5 pennies he gets to pick one. It's hard to make a reward system when you're trying to avoid reinforcing bad behaviors ..

We have a similar issue with SD6, but not really as bad. She's just very disruptive in class (talkative, rude, doesn't listen, etc). But she's in BM's primary care now so we have literally no impact on any discipline.

I'll be interested to hear what other people have to say on this topic.

Siferra's picture

Submitted by Siferra on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 2:38pm

Thanks for the input Smile

He is in a special class because he has a number of issues - speech, behavior, etc. He has been tested for various things but they have trouble getting accurate results because he simply doesn't want to do the tests, so he under-performs what everybody knows he is actually capable of.

If it weren't for these behavior problems he could be put in a regular class next year.

I'll suggest to DH that we give positive a try. He just doesn't seem to have any long-term attention span. Like, he doesn't seem to think of rewards OR consequences later for his actions. It's like he does what he feels in the moment with no thought to the (even same day) future. Very hard to deal with.

Trying Mama's picture

Submitted by Trying Mama on Thu, 11/08/2012 - 5:35pm

I found that wit my SS6 who has a learning disability, that if we focused on his "Good" behavior rather then the constant punishment then he would behave better. Maybe see if the Teachers will start him off with zero "pennies" and then give him one with each positive behavior he shows. My SS doesn't care about loosing things. He is used to it by now. But he loves to feel like he did something well, and earn things. Worth a shot.