I just need a good cry and there is no one. To. Cry. Too...

It's like this...in a VERY short summery. DH "thinks" he has awsome conflict management skills. If indeed this is so dang true then why is it that when we disagree I feel like total crap at the end, but he walks away like some sort of winner. I mean, give his arrogant butt an Olympic gold medal in debate if there were one for his sport.
He also gets one for crappy parenting!!!

We only have SD11 EOW and for whatever reason, it always turns South. Those weekends always seem to chew me up and spit me out. It's not SD11. She and I have always gotten along. I do not, and have never, assumed parental responsibilities with her and that has worked great. It is DH and his parenting that drives me NUTS. Hey, I even get along politely with BM. Taking the high road has been a way of life for a long time. I got this.

So, spit it out, me...why am I blogging? This time? This conflict? This one of many? Well, to make a long story short...this particular conflict starts like this. They let SD11 "date" with no real boundaries, perimeters, expectations, guidance, teachable moments, you get it...basically, it's a free for all and I won't be surprised if she is put on the pill by 13. I refuse to let this surprise me since the adult SD's went down that same road. Didn't work so well for them but when it comes to parenting, DH learns nothing from trial and error...

Truth is, our parenting styles couldn't be more different and I know, I KNOW in my heart I need to disengage from DH's crap.

Anyway, back to the conflict...SD tells him about her horrible valentines day. She is near tears about how her BF got flowers, suposidly for her, and on the blessed day he (BF) gave them to another girl. She went on to say how she had gotten him something nice and then he rudely did this to her. SD11 then runs into her house to get her things. While she is away, DH tells me school lets you order flowers to be delivered to students on Valentines and that he should have ordered some for her and had them "from secret admirer." Up until this moment I had remained silent, other then to validate feelings and offer sympathy, even though I do not think 11 is a good age to be placed in older teen and adult situations. However, when DH came up with the "from secret admirer" flowers idea I lost my ability to remain silent, and I am kicking myself for it, too. I tried to explain to him that from a girl's perspective, this would make it worse. I would have been caught up in the mystery of the moment, wondering if it were my BF or some other guy. Finding out later that they were from dad would be a let down for a girl. I went on to tell DH that if you send flowere from yourself vs secret admirer, that would be nice. Specifically getting flowers from dad is cool, but NOT cool from secret admirer. It got all turned around and flipped into a big old nasty that ended with DH telling me I did not need to call him an idiot. What? Where oh where did he get tha from?? I said no such thing!! I did NOT call him any names. OHMYGOSH! When Sd11 got back in car I had to fake nice for her sake. It is gonna be a long weekend.

As soon as the sun comes up I will go for a long hard run. Then I will start getting ready for my solo ski trip to Big Sky. Me, alone, meeting my own son20. I can not wait to exit the crazy train!!!

SOOO tired of dysfunction...