Can someone explain BM logic to me?
I am taking SS7 to see the Therapist today because BM said that she couldn't get off work. This was decided weeks ago when BM and FDH went to see the Therapist together and I am only doing to because BM said I could IN FRONT OF the Therapist and because I am really worried about SS7. If we leave it up to BM it would never get done because she has no time for SS7.
Interestingly enough though when we dropped SS7 off at her house on Sunday he was complaining that his tummy hurt - but we weren't sure if he was telling the truth since he has been saying that he is sick for months (which is why he is going to the Therapist, she said that he was attention seeking) and when we told him if he was sick to go lay down (our new response to see if he really is or not) he would come out after 5 mins and say that he was all better. Anyway we worn BM that he had been doing this and we were sure if he was sick or not, well she called 15 mins later and said that he threw up all over his bedroom floor - twice. (not sure I believe her or that SS7 didn't make him self sick) But... SS7 got his wish the next day (sort of)
BM stayed home with him on Monday and he didn't have to go to summer school, but... SS5 also got to stay home from summer school because he had a head ache!
Now my question is BM just told us that she can't take off work but yet she did Monday so they could all stay home together, but she couldn't take a half day to take SS7 to this appointment today? Now if it had been SS5 I would almost bet money that she would have been there.
Then she was talking to FDH yesterday and she asked him to call her after the appointment, after he talks to me to see how it went. FDH reminded her that they probably won't tell me anything, he added that he was planning to call the office and ask them how it went. BM got confused and he had to reminder her that I wasn't the legal parent, today I am just the driver. What an idiot.
I was telling my mom about all this and I told her that it made me sad, it's like BM doesn't want SS7 (she just wants ss5 and even that isn't as strong as it once was) I told my mom that BM should just give SS7 to me, I would take him in a heart beat.
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I called her out on it once
I called her out on it once and she told me that "there was a reason she does what she does and if I wanted she would explain it to me" I didn't asked to have it explained because i am sure it makes no sense.
2 years ago a went to a doc appt. out of town with FDH and BM - and I waited in the car! Then when talking about it in the office my name came up, FDH said that I said something about something (who really knows - just an observation i had I am sure) And BM flipped out because I was making medical decisions for her children. Of course that Appt. had been for SS5. And I am sure I said that he is smarted/better than they all think that he is. (He has High-functioning Autism - BM leaves off the 'high-functioning' part)
But when I noticed that SS7 way having issues with Anxiety (something that I openly admitted to dealing with myself) suddenly I became the expert and the one that should take him. Not that I mind, Therapy really helped me. Plus I am secretly hoping that SS7 tell the Therapist all the stupid things BM does to him and his brother.
The conspiracy is that ss7
The conspiracy is that ss7 might not be FDH's. Ss5 has more of his traits and personality. Ss7 is BM's clone only male so it's hard to tell. Looks and acts just like her. FHD has questions about it but loves SS7 too much to go get tested, afraid of losing him?
Her behavior almost seems
Her behavior almost seems like she sees the kids in a bio vs step way. What you just described is probably exactly how I would act comparing my stepkids and my biosons.
If I had to miss work and deal with a stepkid, i would probably want to spend the day with my bioson too (hes young enough that its just daycare and not real school). And I don't like any butting in of opinions when it comes to my BIOS, but I am open to input and suggestion with the skids.
Sounds like she somehow has lost any maternal bonding with the older child.
Like realmccoy says "BM logic
Like realmccoy says "BM logic doesn't exist", I'll just add....they are a species of their own }:)
I hear you. I have three
I hear you. I have three skids two boys and a girl. The girl is the shining star and the boys...who are they? My husband says they are treated like 2nd class citizens in her home.
Your FDH can sign a release form for you to be given information about SS7 for his therapy visits. We just came back from a GI appointment for my SS11 "reflux" that the pedi diagnosed. Come to find out the GI Dr. doesn't think it's reflux but Functional Abdominal Pain. Kids as young as 3 to early teens can have this, caused by diet and stress. Some of the symptoms are stomach aches and pains. My SS throws up too. Just a little something for you to think about, he may not be doing this for attention but have real pain. The Dr. prescribed a medication for his attacks but one of the things is to divert their attention to other things and therapy for the stress.
Good Luck, and give him lots of hugs, he needs it.
I notice that both the BM AND
I notice that both the BM AND my SO treat the younger kid like he's God. The older one is just there to make sure SS9 gets everything he wants and can manage to open his own water bottles!! I don't see it!! I hate the younger one waaaay more than the older one!! The older one is only 11 and he acts like he's 20!! There are only 2 years between them yet mentally it's like they are 10 years apart. The younger one is sooo coddled and spoiled it makes my blood boil! How is this kid ever going to be dependant when both his parents AND his older brother do absolutely everything for him!! I can't stand how much more attention they give that brat. He was over 7 years old and they were still wiping his ass because he just "didn't want to". !!!! WHAT?!?!?!? SO stopped that the second I said something when I noticed what was going on!!! He was also helping him "blow his nose".... My 3 year old nephew does his own, yet SS9 still needs help?!?!?!? Ugh... I hate them and all their entitledness.
Therapy went well - I got to
Therapy went well - I got to walk him back and sit with his for a few mins. Just while I was sitting there he said A LOT! She asked me a few questions and I answered her honestly. Mainly she asked me why FDh and I seem to have more issues with him I told her that it's mainly with the TVs/Games are shut off, but i should have told her it's because I am around him more and we do more.
The best part was she asked if the next time she meets with the parents if I would come, I said sure but if I come then BM's hubby should probably come too... the therapist said that she forgot BM was remarried! lol