I just got in trouble for 'paddling'
I just got in trouble with BM because SS7 told her that I 'paddled" SS5, but it's okay if FDH 'paddles' them.
BM just called FDH freaking out because SS5 was giving her a hard time this morning when she was trying to get him dressed. SS7 told SS5 that he had better be good or he will get paddled, I guess BM asked him where he had heard that and SS7 told her that I paddled SS5. She told FDH that I can't paddle the kids. He stood up to her and said that he had spanked the boys a few times but that I had only done it once that he knows of. BM told him that she didn't agree with it but it was okay if he did it, but not me.
She went on to ask if FDH would be okay if her hubby spanked the kids and he told her yes, if they needed it. He added that he wasn't going to let the boys walk all over me.
Truth be told when I first meet SS5 - 2 years ago he was a brat and a fit thrower. I couldn't stand the kid, he hit me! but he only did that once and yes I spanked him, one swat on the back side to get his attention followed by "we don't hit". I haven't have much of an issue with him since, i just have to say "you want a spanking?" or "go to your room"
Oh now BM txt'd FDH and said that she was heart broken because she can't protect her kids when she isn't with them and every time they talk it just seems to turn into a fight/argument.
I don't know what the rules are for step parenting but I reserve the right to defend myself - even against a 3 or 5 year old.
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i hope she does - since she
i hope she does - since she gave false info to a doc and gave the child laxatives for 5 weeks longer that prescribed. I may get nailed but me and the CPS would have some good - long - conversations.
nope, the father left them in
nope, the father left them in her charge. Nothing can happen from one spanking, I have looked into it and talked to my parents (they are both cops)
Well, I support spanking of
Well, I support spanking of children. I think there is a difference between spanking and hitting. Though I have been caught in the irony of the situation when spanking my niece for hitting my mom. Whatever. She deserved it. I was spanked as a child and I turned out AWESOME
.
I am pro spanking but I only
I am pro spanking but I only did it that one time. I haven't had to since then. Usually I just send him to his room. He is actually a good kid once you set down some ground rules.
Just wondering are there any
Just wondering are there any laws against BM bullying FDH like this? calling and having questions is one thing that telling him she was 'heart broken' and blaming HIM for starting fights seems a little over dramatic. It's my cyber bulling only with a cell phone and kids.
A swat on the behind,
A swat on the behind, followed by "we don't hit" is incongruous at best and doesn't fit into the logic of our monkey brains, even that of a 3yo. Now saying something akin to "you don't raise your hand to an adult.." fits perfectly.
I for one don't use corporal punishment beyond the "numbskull, what were you thinking" little nudge on the knowledge knot on the back of the head when they do something colossally stupid that they know better than to do.
Now - when a certain party turns 18 and he decides he has had enough trying to comply with my silly rules like "don't call your mom a bitch"...and he decides he's going to raise a hand to me....IT'S ON!
If ANYONE paddled my kid, I
If ANYONE paddled my kid, I would beat the crap out of them. You can demand these kids respect you, you can tell them what to do, etc...you are overstepping a MAJOR boundary if you spank, paddle someone else's kid. If you do it to your own, that's still ON you and honestly, just a way for someone to justify their own anger...but I would be on anyone's face, including an SMOMs face that dared put a finger on my kid.
You were wrong here. Not
You were wrong here. Not your place...If a step punished my child by hitting, I would be all over them and contacting CPS.
Paddling is not necessary, there are more effective ways. A tap on the head once in awhile when they mouth off, but paddling is a little extreme. Especially for a step parent.
when I met DH is was a
when I met DH is was a spanker, grabber, smacker. I am not any of the three.
when sd's moved in their first response was and still is when frustrated was to do all of the above to each other which then turned out to them not just doing it to each other but to my kids as well
with my dd's because I didnt hit, they didnt hit.
not long after DH and his children moved in, I put a banned on the hitting. My kids watched DH hit his kids and were terrified and ExH saw DH hit his kids and was terrified.
so the rule in my house was: no hitting period.
and definatly hands off each others kids.
although i dont think a smack on the but is spanking..
It is legal in all 50 states
It is legal in all 50 states for a Sparent or anyone else actiing enlocoparentis to spank a child. BM gets no say in how you discipline in your home or a say in anything else in your home for that matter.
You are an equity partner to your SO in all things including disciplining the children in your home.
BM needs to stfu IMHO.
You hit him and told him "we
:jawdrop:
You hit him and told him "we don't hit." ?????
Can you not see the irony there??
Whether or not I believe in spanking, I think you should never, EVER hit someone else's child.
in the eyes of the law, if
in the eyes of the law, if you are given permission by one of the bio parents it is fine to use it as discipline. Spanking a child is not the end of the world. There is a huge difference between spanking and abuse.
I agree with Rags and I think
I agree with Rags and I think there are different "variations" of spanking. I don't think all spanking is black and white. If I were to "spank" BS2 (which BTW I have not needed to do.. yet) it would be a swat on the hind end if repeated warnings didn't work.
To others, "spanking" may mean, bending over and getting paddled numerous times with a wooden object, to others, "spanking" may mean dropping ones drawers and getting paddled with a belt and so on... you get my point.
I think some get way too riled over the mere word "spanking". Hell when I was a kid we used to go through the "spanking machine" at school when it was our birthday. Everyone would line up with legs spread and the birthday boy/girl would crawl through as fast as they could while everyone tried to get in a birthday spanking. EVERY SINGLE KID in my class thought it was a blast.. best part of the whole birthday celebration! But I went to a private school where spanking as a punishment was allowed.
I have never spanked my steps
I have never spanked my steps but disciplined (take away TV, computer, cell phone, etc) them until BM found out. She made it perfectly clear that I am not to discipline her children when they are in my care. Now I refuse for either of my steps to be in my home with out DH there. Problem solved!
She still has the nerve to call and ask if I can keep them or take them to their appointments. Of course, the answer is always NO!