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round and round over baby 'issue'

SisterNeko's picture

Submitted by SisterNeko on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 10:01am

FDH and I are still going round and round over the baby issue. I was laid off in July and since then FDH has been in haven with be being at home - the house is clean, kids are taken care of, and dinner is made. Yes he hit the jack pot with me Smile and I love being home, I am a total home body but...

I have been looking for work but not to the point where I will just take anything that I can get. (getting closer to that point) I am being a little picky. But when the Unemployment was set to run out (I had to fill for an extension which i ended up getting but we didn't know that I would at the time) I flat out told FDH that I wasn't going to put my career on hold to stay home and raise someone Else's children. If we had one of our own I would consider it.

I know we are not married but due to our ages was are considering doing that baby thing first and maybe a courthouse marriage, followed by the 'big' production later.

FDH seems open to the idea but want to wait a little so that people don't think that he asked me to marry him (in October) because I was pregnant.

Is it wrong that I don't want to be SAHM to my FsKids?

I really don't care what we do first - I know I want both with FDH.

Comments

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 10:07am

No...I don't think you're wrong at all...

It's your life...your choice...

Also, how old are you (if you don't mind me asking) that you feel a little pressure?

SisterNeko's picture

Submitted by SisterNeko on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 10:41am

I will be 28 at the end of the month and FDH is 30. I know that is not 'old' per say but we both really want a girl (he currently has 2 sons) and if we try now and get a boy there would be time to try again if we wanted. But I always said that I wouldn't have kids after 30. My life just didn't work out that way. Plus TIWNS run in my family and we are do for a set, I've heard pregnancy get harder if you are older and if I did get twins it may be too much for me.

plus it seems as of late that I am the only one of my friends that DOESN'T have a kid or is pregnant (in some cases both). I am just a late bloomer I guess. I think I am just ready, mentally I really want one.

the_stepmonster's picture

Submitted by the_stepmonster on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 10:11am

It makes complete sense. I wouldn't want to stay home to raise someone else's children either. If it were my own child, that's a different story. Choosing to stay at home comes with sacrifices, such as financial sacrifices, personal fulfillment sacrifices, etc. These are the types of sacrifices I wouldn't hesitate to make for my baby. For someone else's baby? I don't know. Even though I am very fond of my SD's, I don't think I would be willing to put my career on hold and suffer financial woes to take care of them. I didn't make them and they aren't my responsibility. It's sad that their mom sucks, but the fact of the matter is that they already have one and its not me.