Something has to change
But why is it always me that has to change? This is a little off topic.
DH and I have been trying to have a baby for about 10 months now and we agreed awhile back that if we were not pregnant by August we would take 2 months off from trying, mainly to avoid a may brith as both skids were born in may, but also to give ourselves a break and maybe make some changes to aide us in our effort when we resume trying in October.
I have come up with a diet and exercise program to help me get in shape so i can I theory have a better time when pregnant and maybe increase my fertility by reducing stress or at least my body's ability to cope with it. :). I was talking to DH about my plan and he asked why I would want to put myself through that. He clearly has no intentions of making any changes. I know he has kids but ss6 is well 6 and a lot can change in 6 years so the issue may not be completely my fault!
Well I was upset at his lack of desire to do something and I more or less told him this weekend that I didn't find him as attractive as I once did. He has gained some weight since the wedding and I told him when we were dating that I don't find men with guts attractive. He got mad even though he told me last week that he didn't find my recent weight gain desirable. But he claims that he can't do anything about it because he works too much. But he drinks soda like its water and over eats at dinner almost every night, if it were me I would start there!
I know it wasn't exactly nice of me to point out but...
I am not going to change everything about myself to please him. I don't mind working out and eating right. I didn't like the weight gain either I like to look a certain way but I can't help how I like my mate to look.
It does also apply to skids too, I have to adopt to their needs as well if not DH pouts.
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If SS is six, then its been 7
If SS is six, then its been 7 years since his swimmers did the job....so yeah, a lot can change is 7 years.
As far as fertility, making yourself will probably really help you. Extra weight can def hurt fertility. Have you used opk to confirm that you are actually ovulating?
As for the weight gain in dh, I think its total and complete bullshit that he feels he can tell you about your weight gain and subsequent attractiveness.....but you can't say the same thing back? That's totally not cool.
I have been doing daily body
I have been doing daily body temp to check ovulation. As far as I can tell I have late ovulation. I think it has a lot to do with stress levels messing with my hormones. Since I can't fix the skids or make bm less of an idiot. I thought making myself physically stronger would help I am such a weakling.
I am actually low to average weight for my height. I thought the weight gain was fine but it was all around my mid-section which made us hopeful that I was pregnant but it suddenly dispersed and there has been no indications that I am pregnant, no positive test or missed period. I would like to gain some weight the healthly way of course by gaining muscle and not fat.
Yeah I thought it was shallow of him. But also if he is really worried about it why not do something other than pout?
He is like most men thinking
He is like most men thinking that they are HOT no matter what. They've done studies on this in that men have "better" self images and self esteem than do women--even unrightfully so. For example, Guilty Daddy is pretty much a full blown alchoholic. I've seen his hands shake in the morning when he's not popping down one beer after the other. When I pointed it out, he made some feeble excuse like "well it's hard to stand on the ladder and lean over holding this air nailer" (insert MASSIVE eye roll)
He's had a beer gut probably about three months after he moved in with me. He's changed jobs so less physically active; at first he lost weight because he was "mourning the loss of the skids after the breakup" (TM).
He said the other day after I admitted that I am overweight and am having hormonal issues (past menopause--never used to perspire--now I do at the drop of a hat) that "I'm not overweight!" (meaning him). :barf:
Sadly, tt also sounds like your DH is going down the road of "I don't want another child--my relationshp with SM isn't that solid anyway and I don't want to be paying even MORE CS to her" (TM)
You aren't the first to
You aren't the first to suggest to me that DH is having 2nd guesses about having a baby with me. He doesn't seem as eager as he once was and it does concern me. I have thought about suggesting couples counseling or something but not sure if he would even go or he might flip out that there is an issue because he tried counseling with BM and she said it was a waste of time.
I don't think I would ever divorce him for getting fat, but our love life is taking a hit for sure. It may be tmi but we used to do it almost daily now it's like a few times a week and declining. But I no trying to conceive can also have that affect.
I just don't know what to do when I try to talk to him about some things he just shuts down.