Hello STers, it's been a while.

Wish I had some exciting and closure filled news from the world of Sita but I don't.

Tough time of year and little progress on a final agreement. Hard to sit in Limboland, but that's where I am today.

On the job front I didn't end up with it- they were really looking for someone who never would need benefits or more than 25 hours a week and that's just not going to do it. I sought advice from the pros in my life and they agreed I should hold out for something better rather than tap myself in a dead end opportunity that would leave me still looking, while also lying about my intent to work there forever with such bleak terms (I'm really not big on lying any time time, but right now maintaining my integrity in the midst of having the reverse done to me is high on my list of ways to ride this wave.)

On the health front- not so good. Had to have another biopsy for the skin lesion issue last year and it's growing back- off to the GYN oncologist again this month. Merry Christmas.
And...

This time had the added bonus of the pap coming back with endo cells- meaning a uterine biopsy next week. Results will be in next month. Happy New year.

STD testing came back all clear tho so that's good- tho I feel like never allowing anyone else to touch me again after such a horrible betrayal. Hopefully that feeling will pass as I heal.

Having triggery moments due to this being the time of year he cheated, he gas lighted, he blame shifted the whole thing onto me and all my inadequacies as a wife and stepmom.

My family, my friends old, new and step, have lifted me up when I am blue, loved me from near or far, and held me in their hearts more than I probably even know.

I couldn't get through it alone.

Whenever I get down about the turn my life has taken, I start counting blessings-new friendships formed after, or especially because of the affair and divorce. I formed a meetup group for people going through painful transitions in my area- death, divorce, job loss, health crises, etc. In 6 or so months we have 33 members already. Three of those members have become some of my best friends- one widow and two young single moms whose kids' dad's cheated and left them for others.

If this hadn't happened none of these women would have likely met. That's kind of interesting how life does that, isn't it?

Anyway...

hope everyone here is having a safe, healthy, loving holiday season. Hug your kids, tell your DH's you love them. We all never know what holiday will be the last we share with anyone at our table.