Long time No post
Just thought I would hop on to share the straw that broke the SMS back and allowed me to completely check out from step hell and the last of the Skids.
For reference I have been married 11 years. Three SSs ranging from 25 to 16. The only one that we see or hear from is the youngest. I have had an ok relationship with him but we aren't buddys. He will say love you when I have to take him places but other then that we don't really speak much.
And I think we were both ok with that. No one taking it personally.
That is until some weeks ago. DH asked me to give SS a ride to school for weightlifting. DH had a meeting he couldn't miss so I agreed. It's rare I'm asked so no big deal. I am driving SS to the schooo but he says I need to take him to BMs instead because he forgot something. DH was in the phone with me while we were on the way and heard the entire interaction (this is important to note) Now BM lives across the street from the school. So I didn't really have any issue and stopped at BMs. SS told me to go ahead and leave and he would have OSS take him to the school. I didn't question this because OSS helped coach sports at the school and it was very possible he was going to be there also. And the fact BM lives across the street from the school, SS could walk if needed. So I leave him at BMs.
About an hour later DH calls me asking if drop off went ok and if anything happened. Remember DH had been on the phone and heard most of the exchange between SS and I. I said no issues and asked why?
it seems OSS was angry YSS asked him for a ride to school so he text DH (they haven't spoken in years) and was trashing me like crazy. YSS told OSS that I refused to wait while he got his stuff so I could take him to the school. Now none of this is true...obviously. And regardless....he lives across the street. He can't walk across the street to the school??? I was drug through the mud for doing exactly what YSS asked me to do. I made it very clear my taxi servioarw OVER forever.
Since this happened, YSS only comes when DH is here during the week and stopped coming on weekends. DH stopped trying to push the big happy family dream and now we are just counting down the days until he graduates so we can move away!! 2 1/2 years and counting!!!
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yeah, thats a big Nope
I get that kiddo is trying to save himself, but threw you under the bus to do that.
Thats what SD PS does to me every chance she gets, and thats why I walk on effing eggshells and dont do that stuff anymore.
One of the steps (SS14 but 12
One of the steps (SS14 but 12 at the time) asked to spend the night at one of his friends once. The parents came to pick him up and my husband asked me to meet them and talk since he was absent. I greeted and gave my phone number. They left. This was around 6pm in the afternoon.
At 3am, i am sound asleep in bed and my husband gets a frantic call and text from BM2 asking why his bitch wife (thats me) would drop off SS in the middle of nowhere in the dark at 2 in the morning. So my husband explains that its not the case and he was taken by his friend and their parents but she refuses to believe it and I get all these questions from my husband who gets angry at me and goes to spend the night in another room because apparently he says i didnt handle it well.
Turns out, SS lied to BM and told her i had dropped him off because he wasnt allowed to go sleepover at that friends house. He did that because he just wanted to go to BMs house and used his friend as a way to get there since I said I wouldnt drive them back in the middle of visitation. I requested an apology which I received but it was half-hearted and fake to me. After that, I refused to handle anything involving them.
Another time, i dropped them off at the mall to have fun with their friends with money to eat at the food court and they called their BM2 to bring them food and she was upset that teens could be at the mall on their own....I found it strange how coddled and sheltered they are so I quit getting involved. The most I will do is pick them up or drop them off in the weekends if there is an emergency and my husband cant make it but even that, its been years.
I advise you to steer clear of any help while your husband is absent. This is actually a vulnerable spot where they can lie about anything. BM will always believe them and your husband will say they are just kids even when its serious lies like dropping off minor children in the middle of nowhere at 2 in the morning.
2.5 years! That sounds amazing. I still have 4yrs to go, I doubt i will make it to the end.
Yep
Next time, call an Uber! SM12 Taxi Service just shut down for the winter! And that little shit would get a cold shoulder treatment from me the next time I saw him, if I was in your shoes. Not only would the taxi service but shut down, so would anything else you do for him. Sorry, I don't give passes to 16 year olds, who know there is already trouble and then adds to it? nope.
dealing with this too
I am dealing with this too. I have 3 SDs, oldest is 21 and estranged. Youngest is 16 and super bossy of her DH. SD21 is banned from our house, so she told a lie to try to alienate me, so she could come to our house for Thanksgiving. DH told her no, so she called up her sisters and her aunt and told them I slammed her head in a freezer door when she was 14 and that I am still mad at her. Nope. I asked her to close the freezer door 3 times, then she acted like she was going to punch me. That is what happened, and there are witnesses. Does her aunt, who spends holidays with her 2 kids at our house, believe me? Nope. She automatically believes her niece, who is a known drug addict. So, that is how you as a stepmom get rewarded for all those times you showed kindness, cleaned up after them, baked them cookies, took them on vacations.... The selfish skid circus never stops going round and round, and you get to watch everyone judge you for stuff that never happened. Sigh. I am so over it. Sorry you are having to go through this too.
Not much drives me crazier
Not much drives me crazier than kids who are too f'ng lazy to walk a block or 2 to school. That shouldn't have even been a conversation- DH should have just told SS25, so what, it's across the street, SS can walk- end story. It never should have even been a thing to involve you in.
We live 2 blocks from SD13's school and she is so lazy she will wait for SS16 to give her a ride and show up right at the bell (which she hates) rather than walk. You can literally see the school from our house. Parents actually park in front of our house to pick up their kids! The high school is 6 blocks from us (very safe small town, lots of kids walk), she will be going there next year. I can just imagine what this is going to look like, Heaven forbid SD walk 6 blocks! I make it very clear they are perfectly capable and I'm not going to enable their lazyness by driving them unless DH isn't available and it's too cold.
Why the sudden down right lie
Why the sudden down right lie... Didn't anyone ask him? Why did OSS contact his dad after years over something so petty as this? Just to trash you?
Years of PAS
BM has PASd the two older SSs for years so they hate their dad. Any chance they get to be an ass I him and me they take it. I disengaged years ago so they started having ti make stuff up to accuse me of.