Friday before last, Sd12 got very very angry with me, and just could not let it go. I'm talking five days of hell, where I felt like I was under constant attack from the kid, because I sent her to bed without a bedtime snack. It ended with the two of us in the doctor's office.

Dr asked me what the problem was, I described SD's fits, and the repeated advice I get to call the cops on her. I told Dr that I just don't know how to do that to my kid. Dr took SD's history from SD (abuse, neglect, and drug play by BM, abuse, neglect by GBM, foster care, etc etc etc) and said "this is obviously PTSD!" She upped SD's meds and BAM! New kid. :/

Tonight, myself and the SDs are having a sleepover in the living room. For the first time in a long time, both SDs will be staying home with me tomorrow. Weird.

Anyway, SDs are talking about their futures, and planning out their custody arrangement of me (I will be going from house to house, every six months, and babysitting a lot!) I asked SDs "Would you date a man with kids?" Both SDs say yes, so we wound up in a heart to heart.

I told SDs that it is harder to be a step parent then a parent. You inherit every one else's mistakes, and those kids want you to EARN their love and PROVE yours.

SD12 asks me if I would date a man with kids! ??? I pointed out that that is what happened with her father, and she gets this "oh yeah!" look on her face. LOL Then, she says she never made me earn her love or prove my love!!!

I just burst out laughing.. Almost choked to death. SD gets the "Oh yeah!" look on her face again. Then she says "I don't know why I'm always so mean to you!"

So, I broke out the truth on her little butt. I told her that IMO, the people she was SUPPOSED to be able to trust have let her down and pushed her away. None of them was ever willing to fight for her. Then, I reminded her of all the PAS that she had to endure.

I reminded her of individual things that she had told me over the years, and then I reminded her how I proved that some of them aren't true. Some of them, she will either have to believe or take my word that I'm not that person.

SD12 looked at me and said "We're so lucky that you're our mom!" I know that she was more then likely kissing butt.. it was sure a different story then she had a week ago today! But I'll take it.