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300+ wedding pics... & all he cares about are the ones with the kid in them

SMIT's picture

Submitted by SMIT on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 12:37pm

Something bothered me the other night when my new husband and I were looking at our wedding pics online. We were snuggled up on the couch, looking at the photos together and having a great time remembering our big day last month. Then he came across the ones with his little boy in them and became like a man possessed, trying to find ALL of the ones with SS in them. He was happy looking at our pictures, but 10 times happier seeing the ones of SS. I felt kinda shoved aside. How could I say anything without seeming jealous of a child?!

Comments

Nise's picture

Submitted by Nise on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 1:27pm

SMIT…my advice is don’t say anything…others here might disagree with me and I’ve only been married for a year and a half but one thing that I’ve learned is that we have to choose our battles wisely or EVERY hurt feeling will turn into a BIG DISAGREEMENT and lead to MANY MORE hurt feelings…maybe he was just happy that his son got to participate in the most important day of his life and that is where the joy came from….my husband’s girls didn’t get to come to our wedding (biomom nightmare story!) and my husband was crushed!!!! So be happy for your new husband that he has photos of the three of you to cherish…..

smcpaw's picture

Submitted by smcpaw on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 2:19pm

You should cherish every picture and be happy that you are part of your husband's life and his child's too. It is understandable for you to be jealous because I assume you do not have any children of your own, but the child probably has a harder time adjusting to having a new person in their dad's life.

happy mom's picture

Submitted by happy mom on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 3:07pm

I'm sure he loves the both of you the same. Him wanting to see the pics of his son is just to me, a sign of missing him (assuming the child does not reside w/you guys). Don't compare you and your stepson's relationship w/husband, it's a different relationship. It's not who loves the most here, as long as he loves the both of you. Son will always be in your life so....In my experience, put all jealousy aside and try to understand each other shoes. Hopes this helps.

FlaminMama's picture

Submitted by FlaminMama on Fri, 06/23/2006 - 4:50pm

I'm sure that he didn't even think about it. If he is like any good father that misses his kids b/c they don't live with him and he sees pictures of them together it makes his heart smile. Don't let that bother you b/c if he is a good dad the child will always come first and foremost. It will get easier, but I get that that ws "your day"

Sherrylyn's picture

Submitted by Sherrylyn on Tue, 06/27/2006 - 7:56pm

If your husband put in the effort to make your wedding special for you, allow him this flub. I would almost bet that he didn't realize how his actions would affect you at that moment. Not that it makes you feel any better right now. It takes time for all involved in these blended families to become aware of how their words & actions affect others.