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I can't find advice on this anywhere else.

SMIT's picture

Submitted by SMIT on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 7:52am

Can someone offer some advice on how to help/deal with a 7 year old stepson who is jealous of his 15 month old baby brother and who constantly acts out for attention? All of the stuff I’m seeing online talks about helping toddlers and preschoolers with their jealousy of babies, but nothing about second graders. I’m dreading the days SS comes to our house because he’s either arguing with us, screaming like a little girl, pouting over not getting his way, or being too “in your face” with the baby. I love SS but I don’t like how he’s acting right now. It also doesn’t help that BM lets him do whatever he wants and laughs at everything he does. She thinks he’s so cute and funny… but he’s not. He's just obnoxious.

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Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 9:50am

There have been a couple of people that have posted on this before. If I can, I would suggest that you please just remember that it's NORMAL for children to be jealous of siblings. Now, add in to this nice little equation the fact that your stepson may have additional jealousy issues because new baby brother gets to live with daddy full time and he doesn't.

I would think that what he is going through is normal. But I also am a huge fan of counseling. I don't know if you believe in that or not, but in my own opinion - if this were me, I would try the following:

1. I would be sure that when Stepson comes to visit, it's not - for a while - business as usual at home. At least for one of his visits a month, let's say. For one visit a month, SS gets a special daddy/ son day or just a special Stepson day. I don't think this will spoil him. I actually think that it could help him accept the new baby. He's probably feeling pushed to the back burner. Sometimes rewarding acting out for attention does not create the monster we all fear (at least in my opinion.)

or

2. Take him to a counselor so that he can begin to let out his feelings - whatever they may be. About the baby, about his dad and not living with him, and about his mom.

I know that you think SS is obnoxious, but the kid sounds to me like he's HURTING. So BM laughing and thinking it's cute and funny is also the wrong way to handle him.

Best of luck to you!

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

WowjustWow's picture

Submitted by WowjustWow on Tue, 08/18/2009 - 10:38am

I agree that counseling at school or privately might help. Also, having DH take SS for special "daddy" time might do some good. He probably is feeling left out or jealous that the baby is with daddy all the time.

I personally give my skids "dad" time every once in a while. They watch a movie, or play a board game or I just leave them all in the house together and go out shopping. It's time off for me, and bonding time for them.

Best of luck