Bm has lost her freaking mind...

what the hell would you do in this situation?

bm with out discussing it with dh decided to sign up ss for baseball. dh found out and she said that the schedule had not been decided and that she would discuss it with him before it was set which team he was on....fast forward to sunday.

bm states that baseball is wed nights 5pm, and saturday and hes on team xyz....dh was like ummmmm, thats not going to work, i work wed till 6, and i work every saturday all day, YOU KNOW THAT (sternly, not yelling). BM says that sense wed is her night (every wed night) and she works late too, can smnikki go to work 3hrs early get off early, pick up ss and take him to bball, and then drop him off at her house to her bf after practice or bring him to our house and she will pick him up. then can smnikki take him every other weekend to the game.

DH tells her absolutely not! What i can do is of no concern, because bottom line she fucked up and signed him up for something with out discussing it with him. How could she sign him up for bball knowing how involved dh is with ss and his sports, on a days that will cause dh to be absolutely no part of it. and to top it off, she thinks its okay for me to take ss to EVERY practice, and every other game. mind you, this woman last august filed court papers for full custody because i was not fit to care for ss for more than 2 hours with out dh there, so she should have first right of refusal for our visitation if i would be with ss? wtf, now im the main person taking him to and from his bball? is she on drugs?

anyways, dh tells her end of subject, she can do what she wants on her days, but he will no accommodate it, and as far as we are concerned ss is not playing bball, she can find ways to get him to practice (ss is with her every wed) and on our saturdays ss will not be going. She has the freaking nerve to say, "well if smnikki wants to be a part of ss's life so bad why wont she help?" dh says, wtf youre nuts, this has nothing to do with smnikki, this has to do with me his father not being a part of his bball, and you did not discuss things with me, bottom line you figure it out, but ss WILL NOT be there on our weekends.

bm drops off ss to us mon morning (lol, ss told her that the food she makes is disgusting and that smnikki was making him breakfast so dont bother making him anything, we could tell she was so pissed when she dropped him off) bm texts dh immediately after dropping ss off, that he needs to call her, its very important about bball...dh never called, so this morning she called to talk to ss, she first asks dh if on the 6th she can have him for a couple hours to take ss to bball opening day?!?! wtf? this idiot REALLY doesnt get it....dh told her exactly that, you dont get it?! no, you cant have him on our day PERIOD! and then he hung up on her....shes nuts!

the thing is that i really dont mind doing it..but dh is pissed at the thought of not being there with ss (dh is a huge sports, especially baseball nut), the only comforting thing is that mainly it would be me and not bm because ss behaves much better with me. bm is blaming me and telling ss its my fault. im guessing she is hoping ill make dh let me take him. but what the hell why does bm even want me around ss that much? she wont even be there, it makes me look like super step mom. i just dont get it.!

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It isn't about her wanting

It isn't about her wanting you around ss so much. It is about controlling your time. She loves the idea that she can do whatever she wants and expect you to accommodate.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

Have you talked to SS? Is

Have you talked to SS? Is this something he is excited about or is it something that his mom has gotten him into?

SS is the one that matters no matter how fucked up eveyone else wants to be.
I had to sit through swimming lessons with BMs parents because SD loved swimming lessons and the parents wanted to make my life hell.

well, ss didnt really like

well, ss didnt really like tball last year because bm always caused so much drama, and because he mis behaves for her and not for us he didnt know how to act. so usually he mis behaved, said he was tired, and ran to bm to sit in her lap because she would bribe him to play with gum and other things. if you ask ss he was really excited and would tell you he wanted to play, but thats because him and dh play together and he knows how much dh loves bball and we take him to angel games all the time. the actual event of going, he does not like to cooperate (except when bm is not there) I have no problem attending anything for ss's benefit, even when bm and satan(mil) are acting like bff's talking shit about me....im above it and know that im there for ss. the main thing is that dh would be excluded 100% from being involved.

the thing is, we want ss to play, we just want it when both parents can participate, and we feel that bm signed him up for these days to purposely exclude dh from the games. we have told bm that we would gladly help out if we could switch teams to one that is on a better schedule for both parents....she refuses, we really dont get it. she actually thought dh was off wed so he would be going to practice on wed, and she would do every other game....so im guessing she thought that since dh was going to all the practices it was fair that he wasnt at any games....but for dh that doesnt fly, and the thing is, if we did this to bm, she would be LIVID!!

bm's brother actually signed him up because he was signing up his son, who is way older and not on the same team, and practices other days, so thats not why bm is so high strung about this team...we truly dont get it. Honestly, since last year, ss has not said one word unless dh brings it up about wanting to play bball. i think one of bm's friends has a son on this team or something...or something to mess with us, im sure it will come out in the next two days

Thats really too bad. I hope

Thats really too bad.
I hope this ends in some sort of comprimise (sp). I know you are obviously trying, so maybe if you stick to it, bm might too... or just get lazy and cave.

i know that dh isnt going to

i know that dh isnt going to cave, hopefully we will learn the real reason bm is doing this...then we can compromise better on her level when we see all the cards we are working with.

dh just wants to sign him up for stuff when we have him.....i just want them to discuss things, respect each other, and do whats best for ss, separate activities is just such a horrible example of how bm is preventing them from co parenting.

I'm sure things will

I'm sure things will eventually get easier... its gotta take alot of energy for bm to be such a wound up bitch all the time.

i sure hope so...i dont know

i sure hope so...i dont know if ill be able to contain my self down when i get all prego and hormonal! ill give her a piece of my mind!

lol, but usually she always pulls the one month off of drama, and then she will be drama for a week or two and then shes back in her cave....its like she rests up to brainstorm some new kind of crap to throw at us!

lol Bm meet PREGZILLA!!!!

lol Bm meet PREGZILLA!!!! Yea... Dh has had to stop me from doing a few dumb things lately. Ohhh hormones...

lo, i like

lo, i like that...pregzilla!!

actually i think bm will have to be committed once she sees me prego. she has issues because she cant have any more kids.....but doesnt she realize shes a horrible mother to the one she has?! why would she need another?

i wonder if this whole thing, if ss stays on this team, will look in our favor when we go back to court, as an example of her refusing to co-parent, since they are so big on "co-parenting"

Umm my experience about

Umm my experience about co-parenting and court are:
Its ok if Bm is evil, especailly if she or her mother cries on the witness stand. Pointing the finger of its "her" fault will not help.

If you want to win a court case show how hard you try to co parent and dont even mention her. Show how much you do for SS, and again don't mention anything she doesn't do. Show the stability you provide for SS, and don't mention a thing about BM. The judge does not want to hear it and will not care, even if she is a whore who is taking pronographic pics of her daughter and putting them on the internet. (I hate the family court system)

She's clearly grasping at

She's clearly grasping at straws because DH is putting her in her place and not letting her control anything. That's awesome!! And it's awesome that your ss likes you so much

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

yeah, thats something i

yeah, thats something i hadnt considered...i had thought maybe she was doing it to get me alone with ss and then approach me when she knew i was alone....or mil made her do it so their Italian family could take out a hit on me,jk lol, but my mil is seriously that nuts! also, i though maybe shes doing it to have more interaction with dh and i since dh has arranged the schedule so that there is no face to face contact with her.

ss and i have such a great time together! i try not to laugh when he tells me things hes upset with bm about....like bm told him she would take him to see the snow because she knows my family has a cabin in the local mountain resort area on the lake, so she told us that as his mother she should be the first to take him to the snow for the first time....well i guess it never worked out and yesterday we were driving and ss started telling me how bm is such a liar because she never took him, i tried as best i could not to laugh as he carried on...he was so upset though, i told him maybe its because bm's car couldnt make it, and its not that she lied but that she couldnt.

I went through this with BM

I went through this with BM too. Once it was clear I was not going anywhere she decided she could view me as an additional babysitter. So anytime she wanted DH to do something for SD on HER time (i.e. come pick up SD and take her to choir practice because I have a conflict) if DH told her 'no' she would ask if I could do it.

This used to kill me. DH and I didn't live together until we were engaged so when we were dating, this woman who had her child 60% of the time and had no job was asking that a single mother who had her child 100% of the time (my daughter's birth father is dead) and had a full time job, should be willing to jump through hoops to help HER out.

One time she even got a hold of my phone number and called me at home to ask if she could drop SD off to me for the night because she had plans. WTF? Hello overstepping. My name is CG nice to meet you.

omg, its so crazy how they

omg, its so crazy how they seem so quick to define when we are over stepping but, hell they can order us around as they see fit. sometimes i wish that bm would contact me because dh gets so flustered with her, and in the past when we emailed on myspace, i was able to talk sense in to her, and make her see what was actually going on rather than what was being made up in that empty head of her's.

you said it, she thinks im a baby sitter! and a taxi!! shes in for a BIG shock!

I had BM ask Dh one week if

I had BM ask Dh one week if we would take Sd for a work week. Tuesday to Friday or something. I told DH I'd be fine with it as long as someone else watches SD (I was totally stuck in bed with BAD morning sickness... first baby coming in July!!!) So I talk with a mutal friend of ours (BM and I) and she tells me about Bm planning on taking off to see her new boyfriend out of town for a week. I ask when, and she says the date.... hmmm same time she asked if we would watch SD. NOT A CHANCE!!! She doesn't take Sd so me and Dh can fuck so why should we take sd for her to chase cock again.... the last time she took sd to another town for 3 months before her then boyfriend kicked her ass out and she had to call her parents to pick her up.
Ps Dh works through the week, he would have seen sd 10 hrs in that work week and I would have been with her 9 hours a day. Shes not potty trained and shes a high maintence kid. So Dh said no, we can take her the next week (knowing full well she'd say no, she just wanted a babysitter so she can chase dick)

i just dont understand how

i just dont understand how they can justify these things in their head. like they arent doing anything wrong passing off their child to go get ass.

Omg and it gets disgusting.

Omg and it gets disgusting. BM actually left her daughter with her parents for three months to move in with her boyfriend (Judge deemed it "setting up a life for sd") and posted a gigillion pics of her and her then boyfriend (this is the one who ended up booting her out 3 days before xmas and her parents had to rescue her) half naked in bed together all over FB.

You did get screenshots of

You did get screenshots of that shit so that you could show the judge what an excellent decision maker BM is, right????

Yea he saw it. And gave her

Yea he saw it. And gave her more access, child support and rights. Judges don't care about the men. The only concievable out come to them is better training the women. Its bullshit.

I would hold firm and insist

I would hold firm and insist that the team assignment be changed or no BB. I think this is just manipulation on her part or why wouldn't she have called and discussed the options with DH? She's telling you that you should go to work early and get out early to accommodate her? What a nerve! You are not just chattel to be moved around at will by her.

Oh my... BM did the same

Oh my... BM did the same thing. SHe scheduled him for SOccar on Saturdays, when she knew it was our time with SS. Well this year she will be in for a shock... because my little ass will be there with my dhs new baby. And if she wants to play that game then I will make sure that SS knows that we love him enough to be there for him.

I don't know if she was trying to get my DH to spend more time with SS. But as my dh and I rarely do anything not together... I and our child are a package deal when it comes to dh

Oh Nikki... we lead the same

Oh Nikki... we lead the same life in so many ways. BM signed SS up for after school programs that rotate days. She didn't ask that we do any of the driving... in fact she offered to the driving HOWEVER she committed to this without consulting DH first and this semister they are on the days that DH picks the kids up from the babysitter earlier, and gets to spend some one on three time with them. He takes them to get an ice cream, or to the park (weather permitting)... he cherishes these days. So he just told BM "Nope, SS won't be there on our days, you should have talked to me first so I could have made my schedule accordingly". BM went off about prohibiting SS from being involved. Give me a break, this kid is involved in everything. And I CALLED HER and talked to her about baseball BEFORE I signed him up for it since 50% of the games and practices are on HER days. People... I swear.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

youre right! its the same

youre right! its the same story!!

ugh, she just doesnt get it that she should have checked with dh about this....now shes doing the same yours is, "dh is keeping ss from participating" its just so stupid, why do they think they can just sign them up for things? there is another parent EQUALLY involved in their life. its not like we are every other weekend parents, i am a mother to her child just as much as she is (i know im not his mother, but im the mother figure taking care of him)

I know what you mean. I have

I know what you mean. I have had to remind BM that "her son" sees me, just as much as he sees HER... and I am the one doing the "motherly things" at this house. Not to rub it in her face, or try to be his MOM- but to remind her that there are boundaries that exist on OUR side too. She can't jump in and tell us how to run our household ANY MORE than we can tell her house to run hers. She gets it more these days... Thank GOD!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

I think he is handling it well.