yesterday i had all my pre op stuff for my tumor and thyroid removal surgery tomorrow. i got done late enough that i didnt go to work.....last week when we got ss, he was coughing, he got a little better, but was still coughing. he went back to bm on thursday, friday being her day off, she said she would take ss to the doctor. well, we got him monday and she had not taken him. so i ask dh if he wants me to take ss since i have the rest of the day off, and since we have him this weekend, i dont want him sick while i re coup. dh calls bm at work to ask if i can take ss and can i come get the medical card. bm says yes, that would be very nice of me. so i go alone to bm's work. i had so much blood taken, when i reached to get a card because she asked me to call her, i was shaking. i explained that i was having surgery and i had a bunch of blood taken, i was going to go home and eat and rest and then pick up ss from day care after their nap time. she asked me about why i was having surgery and where my tumor was, etc. i left and went home....she wrote me the message below. i acted like i had not gotten it....i went to urgent care with ss, they were giving me issues, and i didnt know all the info, i called bm, let her know she asked me for my cell number to call me back, she was going to call his doc to she if she could get him in there....bm has never in 2 years had my number. bm called me, we really had pleasant exchanges, and i called her after the doc to discuss with her what they said....ss had bronchitis. she had to go because she was at work, but she called me back and we talked for about 30 min about her health issues and mine...we talked about ss and tball. at the end she mentioned she wrote my on fb and that she would pray for me and hopes everything goes well..... so here is her message and my response....i really hope that this is a chance at a peaceful co-existence.... i just always feel like i get my hopes up and i try so hard and then it all goes to crap the second bm is pissy and then i feel so let down and stabbed in the back for ever trying to be nice to her, but i really feel like shes honestly trying this time...

Hey smnikki,
I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, women to women I really hope that everything goes good with you. I know that we have had a rough couple years, but I hope you know that I have been really trying to get along with you guys. I know that you mean alot to SS and thank you for everything you do for him. I hope that we can start over. I will be praying for you, that you have a successful operation and a full recovery and that the test results come out that everything is ok, I know all to well how scary this stuff can be. Good Luck

my response:

Hi bm,

I finally got a chance to get on line, and thank you so much for your message. It really means alot, and i truly did enjoy chatting yesterday on the phone. It was such a nice and refreshing feeling to talk and not feel tension or animosity. It seems we have always had a limbo of getting along and not getting along, and it has been hard to trust that things are going to be an honest effort on both sides to work together and all get along. A fresh start would be so nice!!! i have said things that i am not proud of, and have wanted nothing more than to try and repair the bridges we have burned so that we can be able to get along. Not only for SS's well being, but for all of us, its so much easier for us day to day knowing that things are peaceful. I now that the road a head will always be up and down considering all the feelings and emotions involved in our situation, but hopefully if we are able to feel comfortable in coming to each other to discuss things, we can get through the rough patches with out huge chaos and trauma for SS and the rest of us.

if anything, this surgery and finding out about the tumor has taught me, life is wayyyyyyyy to short to feel anger and upset on a regular basis, and with your health issues you are facing as well, i understand more than ever, that it is also not healthy for you to put your body through additional stress.

Thank you for your message and kind thoughts!! i look forward to a new start between us!!!