Stepmoms at risk for violence (trigger warning!)
Just read a story on a young woman named Hanoi Peralta, 33 years old and stabbed to death. I initially read that she was murdered by her son, but after doing some digging, it was actually her stepson (media accounts are incorrect). The 19 year old murdered his dad, stepmom and 5 year old brother.
I feel that if it were the stepmom committing the crimes, the media would sensationalize it exactly that way, but I have yet to see the story written that the stepchild commits a crime. They referred to the killer as a teenager and the father's son (most stories I read so far have it that he's their child).
It just made me think about how dangerous it can be to fall in love with someone, and not knowing if their children will turn out to hate you. Here's the link for anyone who wants to read it. Truly sad.
https://people.com/teen-charged-murders-dad-brother-boys-mom-stabbed-bro...
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Sadly, probably the result of a poorly parented COD.
The woke perspective of redifining just about every element of people, family, etc... that are the foundations of human societies delivers crap like this.
I hope that the deceased SM/GF's family sues the BM of this murdering POS.
I’m of the same mind
Story has it that he heard voices that day, as per BM. He went to BM after her murdered the 3, so wondering if she told him to say that, because we all know pleading insanity gives you a better shot of getting away with murder.
Also wondering why those voices didn't tell him to kill BM. It smells off, I think he probably was being PASed by BM, and this was the result.
Woke has absolutely nothing to
To do with this. Untreated mental illness is the scourge of our time. It drives the epidemics of homelessness and addiction in the U.S., both a result of political decisions that put lower tax rates over the general well being of its citizens. How someone defines their sexuality or family relationships is immaterial. And by the way I would far rather be woke than not.
We have none of the details in this situation, we don't know the cause, only, sadly the result.
Funny
We never had all this mental illness, a lot of which is just plain evil from being raised without rules and as royalty, 20 yrs ago. And that was during the hayday of divorce. You have to admit permissiveness has jumped exponentially since everyone can do what they want without fear of punishment (ex shoplifting).
Yes we did
We just didn't hear about. And there has been an increase of 13% globally but that is attributed to many factors, including better reporting, economic factors, etc.. poor, permissive parenting is not new.
I find it interesting that
I find it interesting that after the first wave of woke broke over society in the 60s we have bred countless pseudo scientists who dream up the syndrome of the month to get published then tag ever increasing numbers of people as "mentally ill", or behaviorally ill, etc....
Funny how when parents were responsible for their children and families. When behioral problems were solved rather than embraced, we did not have this crap.
Excuses do not work. Accountability does. Nearly universally.
Legitimate problems should be addressed and treated. Bullshit labels, are parental failure and parents and their failures should be held accountable.
No doubt the prosectuion will find their stable of pseudo scientists to declare this kid sane and capable of standing trial. The defense will find their pseudo scientist to try to mitigate the murders by labeling the murderer as mentally/behaviorally ill, abused as a child, etc, etc, etc...
IMHO, it is time for society to hold parents accountable for their product and hold their kids accountable for the people that they are. Even if their parernts are parental failures. We cannot jeopardize the lives of successfully raised viable adults for the products of failed parents. Fortunately, we are humans with intellect and even the failing can redirect. If they are held accountable.
IMHO.
My aunt had her step son
My aunt had her step son kicked out when he threatened to kill her. Not sure if he was joking or what but she didn't risk it and told her husband his son had to go
IDK. I'll be damned I meet my demise from some ingrate unstable stepkid or bio kid
You Aunt is wise.
So many SP's tolerate crap that should not be tolerated.
The media
Often supresses stories that don't fit "the narrative." This includes social media and not just news casting.
Everyone loves to paint SM as eeeevvvviiiil but the truth is that BMs and skids are more likely to commit heinous acts of violence against SMs and their half siblings mostly out of pure enraged jealousy.
The danger is real. The
The danger is real. The things I've learned on the delightful stepparent journey would make me think twice about doing it all over again.
The infurating caveat is that
The infurating caveat is that if SM was licensed to carry and shot this POS instead of letting him kill her and her child, SM would be in prison and thoroughly demonized by the press and society. The same would likely be the case if dad had defended his mate and young child and eleminated his toxic spawn. Of course in that scenario BM would sue the crap out of SM or BioDad and no doubt win.
Evil SM, evil daddy, and poor victimized SKid.
Except
The mere presence of a gun in the home greatly increases the odds that the gun will be used in an act of domestic violence, the greatest likelihood is that it will be against a woman. That is an indisputable fact.
Which logically stipulates
Which logically stipulates that women should be trained and carry.
Dead abusers do not abuse ever again.
Sadly, murdered fathers, mothers, and young children never get to fulfill their lives while the failed shit murderer, in all liklihood keeps on living. Much of society flocks to justify the murder, forgive the murderer, defend the murderer. Some element of society fights to hold the murderer accountable. Far too many just plod on.
We see global examples of this on the news every day. Overt evil justified while quality is demonized.
Hopefully, they hook this murderer up to the drip line and eleminate him. Hopefully the jury of his peers are intelligent people grounded in reality rather than the fantasy land of woke.
Just my thoughts of course.
I live in a high crime
I live in a high crime violent city (unless you're in a super wealthy part of town and crime is so bad even the wealthy parts are not immune to violent crime)
Men, women....heck even kids are toting g*ns
Every man/woman/and kid for themselves
It's a cold world over here
Nah if someone is a threat to
Nah if someone is a threat to your life (no matter what age) they gotta go.
Reminds me of the war torn countries where kids as young as 9 were toting major weapons and taking peoples lives. And the men in military over there had to kill those kids or be killed.
My aunt threatened all of her sons (including step sons) that she would shoot them if they tried to cause her physical harm. Fighting the elderly could kill them so I get it. Not sure if she really would but they never tried it. And her husband sent his son to his mothers house (permanently) for both of their sake.
My mom knocked me out cold when I was 16.
She asked me to take the garbage out. I told her to do it herself. I was teasing. I woke up on the floor, got up, took out the garbage. Then I appologized to my mother for being disrespectful.
My mother is 5'1" and a sweetheart. She also tolerates zero disrespect. Even if it is missjudged teasing.
I still tease her occasionally. I just make sure she knows I am teasing. It is better for my health that way.
Unfortunately, the stepparent
Unfortunately, the stepparent often becomes the flash point of all the child's frustrations. All their anger at their parents.. the reason their life isn't going as they wish it would.. is because of the stepparent. It's safer to be angry at them than the parent (emotionally).
I would also say that it can also be fed by a bio parent's inability to parent.. to push parental responsibility onto their new spouse.
It also can be impacted by a step parent that may wade in and want the house to run "their way".. while not really reading the room and making sure that change and progress happens through their spouse and in a gradual and meaningful way vs big changes and lots of rules and lists etc..
These people have
Mental unstable kids. What they keep at home instead of putting them away. That what's happens. Sure this wasn't the first time
Where exactly could they put them
Long term that wouldn't bankrupt the family? I wonder how long/hard the parents/stepparents liked for help and found none? I wonder what kind of pharmaceuticals this kid was dosed with from a young age? I wonder what the family dynamic was, how it got to this point? Unfortunately for this family any help is too late.
Oh for they days of the State
Oh for they days of the State mental hospitals. Only with modern effective true science based treatements. The idea was good, human knowledge was not yet adequate to make them humane. Even with that, they were effective in protecting society far more than the modern model of releasing the ill into a world they are not capable of safely residing in or safely interfacing with. This can be deadly for the ill, and many that they interface with.
Homelessness would drop exponentially, etc......
There are countless examples of quality parents with mentally or behaviorally ill people who parent and care for their children. Some of these kids grow to viable main stream adulthood. Some do not. Yet their families support them and provide the best quality of life they can.
Others... run amok on society. Society following the model of parents who successfully raise these kids, makes far more sense than what we are doing now. Everyone knows either family or friends on both sides of this story. Some successful, most not.
I agree. There are a lot of
I agree. There are a lot of people who are so mentally ill that they will never be able to function in society. Every so often you hear about one killing their family or some random stranger on the subway or out in public. Setting them loose on the streets or in the homes of unequipped family members was a huge mistake, not only for their potential victims but also for the mentally ill people themselves. Those individuals are often victimized by others, too. You see them every day in large cities. Some keep to themselves but some harass people. It's awful.
Links read
the stories read one way, but we know there always more to it...
Sometimes I wonder how many
Sometimes I wonder how many of the more toxic BMs on this forum would incite violence like this given the opportunity. By either a gullible SO or Skid.
Knowing what I do about Satan, I have no doubt she's dropped hints to Mealicket, and now that Killjoy lives with her fulltime, she's PASing the living snot out of her now too. They're both psychopaths.
I keep my doors locked and cameras on.
When i met my husband, his 2 daughters had ceased
All contact and disappeared. They were 7 & 17. It was about 5.5 yrs no contact and us already married 3.5 yrs with 2 kids under 2 that they reconnected out of the blue.
I saw the warning signs of sd's and exwife (who had married her affair guy), even more so the disrespect and harm sd's were doing towards my kids and myself
i refused to wait and stick around hoping for the best. It took almost a year before out of the blue eldest sd calls daddy fake crying how he abandoned her and marrying me and having kids with me was him replacing them.
it was then i told my husband how i saw this long ago but since he and his family are delusional and hoping for the best, i removed myself and my kids from every bein in sd's presence.
the moment you lie and fake things and give your dad an ultimatum to dump me and our 2 toddlers because you're a narcissistic petty bitch, you don't enter my home or household. I shut you out.
hubby manages any relationship with them privately. I wasn't gonna wait around because they showed their true colours. If those red flags are up, they're up for a reason
Your leadership in your marriage and defense of your young
children is inspiring.
That your DH has joined you in the effort is commendable.
Though not a member of your religion or culture, I have some understanding of the challenges those family and cultural characteristics entail. I have lived and worked much of my life in Muslim and Asian countries. I have a love for both, and for the people.
As a 3CK my heart is in both my home country/culture and in the culture/region where I grew up and made much of my life.
I applaud you and DH and the marriage/family you have created while navigating the blended family, cultural and religious landscape.