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somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 1:07pm

so a few of you read my post yesterday, but for those that didn't i'll give a quick rundown

dh and bm are in the middle (hopefully the end) of a l o n g modification (over 1.5 years so far)

well bm denies any "extra" visitation simply cause "she's not required to allow it"-her words. and even schedules things for them on dh's time without consulting him first (which she's supposed to do-dh hasn't enforced the past, but has started doing such)

so yesterday dh gets a call long story short that sd13 is now cutting herself, and claiming (in short) shes tired of the modification and wants her mom to start letting them see dh more. bm has her in counseling but so far refuses to sign releases to allow dh to get documentation from the provider's (she has full custody)- y sd is stressing over the modification is beyond us (we don't talk to them about SQUAT and if asked, answer's are short an sweet-but not lies) i dont think that's the entire issue but more or less, her cover up-personally i think she would rather live with us, but is afraid to admit (she did say she has some feelings that she's afraid to admit cause she doesn't want to hurt BM's feelings.........ding ding ding)

ne who my concern is, dh wants me there when he confronts her about this over the weekend and help him talk to her i've always "co parented" with him as much as i am able, but i really don't know if this is my place (don't want to make matters worse)

I am however, probably going to switch weekends with my bd's visitation because she is doing good and i don't want this issue to hinder HER development (she's 8 and looks up to sd 13)

as a Sparent, i am at a loss with this, how would YOU as a sparent handle this?

i tried getting her into our own counseling as a family but obviously because bm has full custody that was shot down faster than i could ask.

yes we have attorney's on the case, and will go after full custody if this does not get better but i honestly don't know if i want that either, cause then they will be living with us and really, i under no circumstances want my dd being affected like this

Comments

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 1:19pm

We had a similar situation. The judge in our hearing stated that the NCP's time is HIS time with the skids. BM is free to sign them up for anything but it is NCP's choice of whether or not HE takes the skids to those activities or not when it is on HIS TIME.

In other words, having activities for them to go to is not an excuse for denial of visitation with the NCP.

BM had to pay H $500 Contempt of Court fine.

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 1:22pm

he's already told bm that if she contiues, he will deny it regardless what the girls want and regardless if she had to pay 100 for them to attend (thank god, he's finally been pushed around too much)

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 1:23pm

he is HIGHLY considering (regardless what they want) going after full custody of them if this "cutting" continues. because it's obvious proof that bm is neglecting their mental well being.

i honestly don't know if i want that, cause my dd lives with us full time and is a VERY good kid don't need anything hindering that

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Thu, 02/24/2011 - 1:30pm

i sure hope she is too, but i HIGHLY doubt is, she DOES NOT monitor these kids....PERIOD. i made a HUGE mistake and got sd 14(at the time) a cell for good grades as i promised her, and sd had a password that ONLY she knows, her mom does not monitor e-mails, etc (they got their facebooks deleted). i got her a cheapo depo phone so it doesn't have the "monitoring" technology on it that good phones has.

sd14 lies lies lies.