I haven't posted in a while as have had a lot to deal with in the last few months in addition to BM's rubbish & SS rudeness. So earlier this year DH & I were advised IVF was our only hope of starting a family so in April we geared up for IVF. We had been told previously that the suspected reason for DH severely low sperm count was most likely down to a hernia op he had in childhood. As part of the testing in prep for IVF they did additional testing which has now revealed DH is actually a carrier for cystic fibrosis hence the low sperm count & the fact that SS was conceived naturally is apparently nothing short of a "miracle" :sick: Anyway we decided to proceed with a round of IVF in April & during a scan I was told by the Dr he could see "something" in my womb which he thought was a polyp (queue major panic as there is a history of cancer in my family). Dr advised I would need a lap & he would remove the growth.I went ahead with the lap and the polyp was removed & found to be benign but I was given some pretty devastating news - I have stage 4 endometriosis.After being told last year everything looked ok with me this was totally unexpected. We waited a month and proceeded with a cycle of IVF in June which failed. I was devastated and found it increasingly difficult to cope with SS and the fact that his mannerisms & appearance is the spitting image of BM.In August I went to an endometriosis specialist centre and had another lap end of August as recommended by the specialist there, he then confirmed the stage 4 endometriosis and frozen pelvis. I am now scheduled to undergo an 8 hour operation in a few weeks to sort this out prior to trying another cycle of IVF.

All the while this has been going on we gave had to contend with BM changing pick ups & drop offs last minute over the summer holidays, as well as, causing havoc with the child care arrangements. Making SS ring on her weekends asking DH for money so he can go with his friends to the mall. The final straw was earlier this week when an envelope came through our letter box with pics of DH, BM & SS from years gone by. Apparently she was tidying up and came across the pics and thought DH would like to have them. I'm really finding it difficult to be the bigger person all the time. I also find I get really angry that even though DH and I are in this "together" the reality is if it all fails I will never have a child of my own whilst he will always have the Golden Uterus crotch dropping. Lately all the strain of everything has been creating a real distance between DH & I. I' m really beginning to resent SS but at the same time I catch myself feeling guilty for feeling this way.