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Toenail drama one year on....

Sootica's picture

January 2015 I posted on ST asking at what age children are expected to be able to cut their toenails. I specifically asked those of you with bios as I don't have any so wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable at the time expecting an almost 13 year old to be cutting his own toenails. I spoke to DH at the time and said I really think he should make sure SS sees cutting his own toenails as part of his personal hygiene routine. DH dismissed what I said and he carried on cutting SS toenails when SS was at our house. At the time I remember saying to DH if SS was a girl he would of had his period by now so would DH be responsible for changing his sanitary towel too?!

Well it's been almost a year since my post & last Sunday after playing football & removing his football boots it transpired that both of SS toes were bleeding. It soon became apparent this was because SS talons were super long & pressing against the football boot during play. I guess this happened because the period leading up to Christmas was busy and DH forgot to check if SS toenails needed cutting and SS (who is now almost 14) never cut them either.SS couldn't tolerate to have them cut as its was too painful that evening, Monday evening he was at BM as always and then back to us on Tuesday per usual where he proceeded to tell me how BM took him to the GP for his toes and the GP told him he would have to get a hole drilled in each toenail to release the blood trapped underneath. For this SS was told he would need to go to children's A & E but BM didn't want to go sit and wait in A & E so that didn't happen. So SS proceeded to take paracetamol for a few days and then allowed DH to clip his talons.

To think it could have all been avoided if DH bothered to listen to me a year ago, but hey what do I know since I don't have kids.

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

I can tell you it doesn't matter if you have bios or not. I'm an experienced, successful parent of grown productive adults. Every common sense suggestion was shot down by Chef because, and I quote, "my kids are different/special."

He would also consult the Girhippo on everything; OTC medicine dosage, common childhood maladies, etc. as though SHE knew more about parenting than he or even I did! :jawdrop:

I was ALWAYS spot on about everything which irritated him to no end even though I am NOT the "I told you so type."

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Oh I hate that. My MIL says that about DD9. "Oh, SD isn't behind it's just that DD was advanced." Ummm....no. DD developed about how she was supposed to, hitting developmental and social/emotional milestones when she was supposed to, etc. but she was NOT advanced.

The reason I find it shocking that SD was still pissing in her pants at 2 months shy of her 4th birthday is not because DD was advanced it was because SD was shockingly delayed.

But what do I know, Dd is 4 years older than SD so I have been through the age SD is but I don't know anything.

What I can't ever figure out is MIL. She raised 2 kids, was very involved with her sisters 2 kids, and was very involved with a couple of grandkids yet still can't figure out that SD is delayed even though the delays are obvious. Whatever I guess. She isn't calling the shots anymore so it doesn't matter what she thinks.

i am a stepmother's picture

How frustrating! Of course he should be cutting his own toenails! But noone will ever listent to us cause where the step moms... ugh :jawdrop:

Cover1W's picture

Neither SD (12 and almost 10) cuts their own toenails to my knowledge. BM may do it sporadically but the state of their feet are gross. I stopped doing it at the end of summer. Both have manicure kits (from me for birthdays/Xmas) and don't give a rats rear any longer.

Tuff Noogies's picture

oh nasty. the boys have issues trimming their nails, but that's just out of laziness. lurch is worse with it. dh quit trimming theirs probably around age 9 or 10 maybe, but he still has to tell lurch whenever he notices it "dude, go cut your freaking toenails, that's nasty!"

my bro and i are also COD's and i dont recall my sm EVER clipping our nails. but then again, dad had taught us to be pretty self-sufficient and functional long before they married (a month after i turned 5).

so i guess it depends on the parents and how they are raising their kids, but DEFINITELY 14 is WAY to old to be having dadddddyyy maintaining their nails for them.

hereiam's picture

Good Lord, my niece was cutting her own toenails at three years old, she hated having long toenails. Scared the crap out of me when I first saw her do it (but she wouldn't let me help her), I just knew she was going to hurt herself but she seemed to know what she was doing. She must've watched my sister or something.

It just seems such a natural thing to do when they get a certain length. I hope your SS has learned his lesson.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

DH won't wipe SD5 for her but SD5 will go through periods where she just stops wiping all together which, to a certain extent, is normal. But I swear to you the kid has given herself diaper rash on 4 separate occasions. I can't figure out why she can't make that connection.