I am just realizing how much this really does suck for her. Of course, she made her bed, but man! To have to beg family or friends for a ride to my home to visit with her own child must be tough to swallow. Dh got off work so he would be home and BM didn't like that at all. We think she was hoping it would just be her and I with SD because I am the nice one and she might be able to con me into allowing her alone time with SD. We stopped by the house to get bug spray in the middle of trick or treating and Dh and I both stepped inside the house leaving BM and SD in the yard for only a minute. Dh said BM was whispering to Sd when he came back out the door and when she saw him she stopped abruptly and looked startled. God knows what she is trying to tell her!

I know it's silly, but I don't get BM's choice of trick or treating attire. Business skirt, cleavage bearing top with ruffles, and knee high black leather boots with super pointed toe and super high heel. Um, okay. I was in jeans and a fitted t-shirt flat hiking type boots for comfort. Guess it just shows the difference in personality. Or maybe she was hoping to get a date while we were out trick or treating.

I think I stepped on Bm's toes by taking SD shopping for her costume. I'm not sorry for that though as it was the day before Halloween and if she didn't have her a costume yet she prob was not going to get one in time.

I gave BM some copies of the pics I took at her family's B-day for SD that they invited me to in July. To support my theory about the narcissitic personality disorder, the only thing Bm commented on in the pics was her own tan. Then as we were SD and Dh were going up to the doors to trick or treat BM told me a dumb story about how she changed out of her Halloween costume at work and then some guy hit on her. OKAY?? I didn't know what to say to that. I just kinda chuckeled uncomfortably.

Then BM's mom picked her up. We were nice to her, I took pics of her, BM and SD together for SD's scrapbook, then I volunteered and took some with BM's camera for her. Bm's mom had called my phone twice during the day yesterday and didn't leave any info as to what she wanted so I didn't call her back. Yeah, at one time we were on good terms and I would have, but after the S**t they pulled in court she needs to be calling DH! She asked if I had her # because she had tried to call and I bet she could tell by my face I had been avoiding her. I faked not having the right # to ease the tension. Then she said she had called because she was in the neighborhood earlier and wanted to stop by to see SD and asked if it was okay for her to do that. DH and I said just to call us first, but he really needs to call her and lay it out for her when SD is not present. She needs to know that no, she may not drop in and visit SD. After we heard her manipulate information and even use our attempts to be nice and accomodating to her relationship with SD to try to make us look bad, NO! She may get out and hug and kiss SD if she brings BM for her two hour visits, but other than that she will have to wait until BM gets her occupational license and BM can let her spend time with SD. THe last thing we want is the biggest bull sh**er in their family hanging out at our house trying to gather info to use against us in final trial.

Bm's mom was even tacky enough to make a dumb joke about using info about us in court. SD wanted DH to show Bm and her mom how she likes to crawl in an empty pillow case and have DH carry her around like baby dumbo. Bm's mom said, "Not trying to touch on a sensitive subject, but I can just see it now, I'll tell the judge, I swear your honor, he puts her in a pillow case and swings her around the room, ha, ha!" We weren't laughing.

We are a little concerned because SD asked BM if she went to jail. We know we haven't talked to SD about the info we discovered. And SD told me the other day that "Mommy went to jail." When I asked her who told her that she said the exfiancee did. We just know BM is trying to build a case against us that we are telling SD too much about the custody dispute. We don't discuss any of it with her, but what she hears and feels dispite our attempts to sheild her concerns us too.

Hopefully all that will be cleared up when we get her in to a counselor. Any tips on choosing a counselor??? I went online and there are so many affiliated with our insurance but not much info on them. I feel weird like I would be picking one out of a hat.

Still feeling relieved for SD. She is still telling me how much she wants to stay here and how she doesn't want to go to daycare. Now I can tell her she is staying with me and will not go to daycare. At least for now.

Don't remember if I mentioned yet that SD has changed her mind and is now wishing for us to have a baby. I owe it to her being away from BM's mom for almost 2 weeks. I think SD can feel the difference in our home. With us she is learning that we love unconditionally and we don't play games. We mean what we say and want the best for everyone, including BM and her mom.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! I got the complete reports for BM's DWI and assault in the mail. My fears of not having anything new to pesent at final trial are gone. BM testified on Monday that she does not have phone numbers or addresses for any of the people involved in the assault. Well we do!!! The report has even more info in it and it descibes how BM was arrested at work. How embarrassing!!! ANd in the report of her DWI, BM testified her car just had damage to the hood, HA! The report states she hit a concrete barrier and rolled the car! She was double the legal limit when they did a breathalizer two hours after the accident.

If she refuses to come to an agreement and we go to final trial we will get all of the witnesses to the assault involved, including the girl she pepper sprayed.

Has anyone else had to supervise visits with BM before? This is really weird. And she will be over every couple of days for what could be a coulple of months or however long it takes for her to get her license. ?????