I have so many things to rant about right now, I don't even know where to begin! I might have to do several blog entries just because there is so much crap going on & you all know by now how much I like to write. Ugh! Where to start...

Number one issue: School starting. OK, so we just found out that school starts on Wednesday where BM registered SD9. (The school here starts the Monday after.) SD9 is with BM until Friday. So obviously, BM will be taking SD9 to school on Wednesday. But since my husband & BM still have 50/50 custody, what happens next Monday morning? My husband can't drive SD9 to school there because it's a 45 minute drive there, then 30 minutes to where my husband works. This would mean he would be at least a half hour late for work. He can't do this, plus it's insane for him to drive this much every morning we have SD9. My husband won't tell BM to come here & pick up SD9, either because he says that's using SD9 as a weapon. (My parents came up with that option, feeling it's more than fair because BM went & moved & registered SD9 at a new school without my husband's permission. THEY STILL HAVE 50/50 CUSTODY!!! Shouldn't BM do the driving to & from school then until the court decides who gets full custody?) I agree that that option would be awkward for SD9, but I don't give a flying f*ck is BM is inconvenienced or mad.

So the only option is telling BM to keep SD9 during the week for school & then we have her every other weekend. Which I think is going to look bad in court, but oh well. Plus, this is EXACTLY what BM wants, so once again, my husband is handing her what she wants on a silver platter. BM leaves us no other option but to cave in. Well, I think telling BM to get her ass over here to pick up SD9 for school or else she's not going is an option, but my husband doesn't.

We just had an argument about this & I was crying. Sometimes standing up to BM means SD9 might be upset or confused. Obviously it's not ideal, but it's not right that my husband lives in fear of what BM is going to do to SD9, so he backs down. Meanwhile, BM calls all the shots, gets everything she wants & still puts SD9 smack dab in the middle of their problems. How is that what's best for SD9? My husband should know by now that BM makes him into the bad guy whether he goes along with what she wants or not.

I'm so fed up. I don't need this aggravation, even more so since I'm pregnant. I told my husband that maybe I need to completely step out of this. If this is how he feels it's best to handle the situation, fine. I don't agree, but I have to stop caring. I told him that I don't know if I want to go to court then, either. Why get myself even more worked up? I don't need that.

BM is DYING to know what my husband is going to do. She won't just ask, of course, but she's trying to provoke him to get a response. She sent him an email the other day that simply said, "I got SD9 a backpack & school supplies.". That was it. My husband wanted to respond, "Well there's a first time for everything.", but didn't. BM has NEVER EVER bought SD9 a backpack, school supplies, school clothes, etc. That's always our job. Amazing, huh? Think BM is trying to prove something? It's sickening. If people can't see that this is just an act, they're really naive.

Oh, and a side note, when my husband was talking about SD9 staying with BM during the week because of this, he said he wanted SD9 EVERY WEEKEND. I almost fell over. I told him no way! If we have SD9 every weekend, this is what our weekends will look like: No work will get done on the house. My weekend will consist of telling SD9 to "find something to do" & making her meals because SD9 has to eat at specific times & God forbid if she eat a peanut butter & jelly sandwich! Meanwhile, BM would have her weekends to go off & do whatever she wants (with the child support money we'll be paying her). I don't freakin' think so!!! If we had SD9 every weekend, I'd get a weekend job, go to my parents' house or something. I would not spend the entire weekend catering to SD9, that's for sure.

It's really awful but at this point, I'm actually hoping that BM gets full custody. I'm worried about the child support & how much it's going to hurt our financial situation, but I guess I'll just get a weekend job or something. I'm so tired of what we've been dealing with. If we get full custody, BM is going to make our lives even more of a living hell. We've already gotten a preview of that. Why do we need to go through this? BM needs to get a taste of her own medicine. She wants full custody? Fine. This means she is now in charge of EVERYTHING...keeping on SD9 about her homework, dealing with all the school stuff, dealing with snow days, holidays, vacations, etc. All stuff she never really dealt with, even with 50/50 custody. It was always on us. And she thought the snow days, holidays & vacations would still be our deal, but my husband set her straight on that. Nope! I don't think SD9 is better off with BM, but apparently no one thinks the stuff BM does is "bad enough" for her not to have custody. So maybe I need to change my outlook...BM isn't beating SD9, so she's "good enough" to be a full-time mommy. And when SD9 grows up to be just like BM, I can at least thank God she's not my kid!!!