I'm pregnant and so is...... Bm
:jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I'm three months on Monday, all is going well and me and dh are still deliriously happy. My parents and sister know and dh is planning to tell his family at Easter (we will have had the first scan at this stage). I'm due on 5th October. Exciting times for me as I have tried to long to have a baby and as past blogs would show dh has absolutely no trouble in that area unfortunately so it's been a long and frustrating road! Anyways all is good now and even sporting some serious baby bloat at the mo!!
However dh collected ss today who informed that bm is also expecting and is due like 3 days after me. I know this is just a terrible coincidence but can't help feel like my thunder has bee stolen (this is her 3rd baby - only first ss is dh's). Anyway now the whole enjoyment is gone for me and the worry of us going into labour at the same time and being in the same hospital is just really upsetting. Also after so long of us wanting a baby I wanted ss to be so excited for a new brother or sister at our house. I dunno, I know the whole thing is stupid and I should just be grateful that at least this baby isn't dh's but t still has me really down today. Dh didn't underdstsnd really at all when I mentioned it. Maybe it's pregnancy hormones making me extra sensitive, there's not much to do now. Just get upset thinking we're a bit like trash on those talk shows wih kids all over the place just because bm and dh were stupid kids once.
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Also eta to add; ss has been
Also eta to add; ss has been sent over sick, I've been out of work wih a chest infection the past week that I have just cleared. It's 10 pm and dh won't send him to bed. Allowing him to stay up watching shit when he is "so sick". So ridiculous. I am pissed off by absolutely fucking everything tonight.
Seriously, let all thoughts
Seriously, let all thoughts of BM and her pregnancy go; it has nothing to do with you and your pregnancy. Don't worry about due dates or hospitals or any of that, she is just another woman in your city who is pregnant.
Why would you let her take away the enjoyment of YOUR joyous experience? That, my dear, is on you. Don't let her steal your thunder.
She is the one with kids "all over the place", not you.
Does BM even know who the father is? (that's supposed to make you smile)
Thank you his really did make
Thank you his really did make me smile, lucky for my dh because I was on the train home and had a face of thunder, my dh was gonna get it lol
I understand completely what
I understand completely what you are feeling. My husband and I want to start a family together soonish and at one point BM thought she might be pregnant and that really put me off wanting to have a kid at the same time as her. As you do I understand that it isn't rational thoughts but they went through my head too, so you certainly aren't the first person to think that way.
Listen to what the other ladies are saying here and try to focus on your little one. At least BM will be too distracted with her own pregnancy to worry too much about yours and causing any problems.
So BM is due 3 months after
So BM is due 3 months after you? And you will be 3 months on Monday? So is BM 1 minute pregnant? And already announced?
Anyway, take solace that bm can't say anything mean about babies at this time cuz it will rebound on her. SS is going to be taught babies are lovely and to be excited about -- bm can't help but be giving the same message at her house. For once,
No I'm 5th of October and
No I'm 5th of October and she's the 8th, she doesn't know about our little bundle of joy yet, haven't even told ss yet until we know everything is ok
Oh! 3 days! Got it! Thanks!
Oh! 3 days! Got it! Thanks!
My neighbour told me when she
My neighbour told me when she and her husband went to hospital to deliver their first daughter they wanted to put her in a shared room. No problem, they were short of space. BUT... her room buddy was to be her DHs ex! And no, they didn't share a room.
So she is pregnant. She is not carrying DHs baby so let it go. Lots of other women will be there delivering their babies. Can you even make sure you are in a different hospital? Are there options in your neck of the woods?
I don't believe that is the
I don't believe that is the issue here.
And when the time comes, whoever the SS is with at the time, mom or dad, is who he's with. Having babies with other kids in the picture happens every.single.day. It can be dealt with and it will be fine.
Just think of how irritated
Just think of how irritated she is going to be when she finds out you are pregnant too. However upset you are that she is pregnant, then expect her to be ten times more so. And I know you think that since its her third that its no big deal for her, but for some uncanny reason BMs always get their panties in a wad when stepmommies reproduce with their Exs so count on it.
Congratulations on your
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I think before you & DH make any announcements the two of you have a little chat,like now about what will happen with skids when you go into labour.This is so you have a plan in place when you do make the announcement and BM attempts to start her crazy manipulation.Get DH to agree the skid visitation doesn't change and have a family member / friend on stand by and then make the announcement.This is so when BM starts "you need to take the skids when I'm in labour" DH can tell her from now "no if it's during your time you need to make arrangements as I am unavailable". The last thing you want is her causing drama closer to your due date. Your DH needs to stand firm with her on this from the start and make it crystal clear that it is non negotiable.
Regarding stealing your thunder please don't let a very special moment in your & DH's life be tainted by her yet again.The reality is when you give birth there will most likely be other unsavoury characters who give birth on the same day but that has nothing to do with you.You focus on your little baby and your DH and who cares about the rest.
Just prepare yourself that she will go off the deep end when she finds out you're expecting,because she will no longer be "the mother of your ONLY child /children" (yep our BM wheels that line out on a regular basis).
I agree with this. Be
I agree with this.
Be prepared for the possibility of crazy, manipulation, etc. When I was pregnant with DS BM tried to wedge SD between SO and myself and DS. There was the guilt. You need to spend more time with SD, are you gonna have time for SD anymore once the baby is born, you are still going to need to give me money for everything, do you even care about SD anymore. When she was mad, it was how are you going to be a father to your new kid when you are such a deadbeat to SD? 3 days after DS was born BM flipped her shit. She wanted to drop off SD and we weren't home. Then the next day flipped again because SO wasn't taking SD for an extra weekend. When told no, she told SO, " it isn't like you have anything else important to do."
It was terrible. And it did upset me a lot. I'd blame pregnancy hormones, but it still bothers me. SO and I fought because he didn't see it for what it was. I wish I had been better prepared. If she does any of that just ignore her. Easier to say then to do, I know. It is just part of the manipulative BM handbook.
When you look back on your pregnancy you want to remember all the good, exciting, joy filled moments. The stupid BM stuff won't matter. Her being pregnant doesn't change this monumental time in your life. And so what if skid will have another sibling there. This will be his first sibling at your house!!!
Have a plan with your DH for things that may happen and then forget her.
Congratulations!!!!
Thanks everyone, after a good
Thanks everyone, after a good nights sleep I'm feeling much better. As dh said she has nothing to do with us. Only thing I see happening is bm and her bf do struggle financially. Dh of course pays child support but he also picks up most of the extras for ss football boots, hair cuts, clothes etc. we don't live on the breadline like they do. I see bm expecting this eve more so because she will have Another mouth to feed. As a quarter of Dhs wages go to cs I have already told him that I won't be made feel like a single mother paying for everything for our child on my own so he can help bm out and pay for even more extras for ss. Didnt go down too well but dh basically told me it won't affect me and he will handle it, we shall see
Congrats! You are due on my
Congrats! You are due on my wedding anniversary!! (our 14th).
Screw BM. She can have kids like her vagina is a clown car. That does NOT make yours less special or less important. Don't let her get to you. You have to keep your spirits up and keep your focus on your little family.