I honestly feel like I just can't do it anymore which makes me sad because my dh is a good man who is just trying to do everything for everyone. I just feel like I've had enough though. My ss 13 lives an hour away. My dh does all drop offs and collections and we have him every Saturday early morning until Monday morning at least. Sometimes more. I don't know when bm actually sees her son when he is in school because he stays in gbm on Friday nights. Anyway...

I am back to work in 3 weeks. I hate my job and everything about it but we need the money to pay my portion of rent. It is really emotional for me leaving my son so I asked my dh could he take a few days off so that we could spend some time together before I go back (bare in mind we have ss every weekend - I was even guilted into babysitting him two weeks ago when both dh and bm were out because it is always just assumed he is here). I said this did not even need to be anything fancy as money is tight - we could even stay home or just get cheap hotel locally. Anyway it's now turned into a big ss has to come even though he was abroad with bm at the end of June.

I said to my husband we have not had ANY real time together as he works until 7-8 pm at night and baby's bedtime is 8. He usually sees him to give him a bath in the evening and that's it as o always have him fed. This turned into poor ssstb14 and how selfish I am. I lost it and told dh if I was selfish we wouldn't have had ss on the FIRST full day I was home from hospital with the baby. He had to leave early and get him and because I was struggling so hard with breastfeeding I was hiding out on my own all weekend with no support from dh as he was with ss. Also he had to drive ss around on the Friday while i dealt with trying to get him discharged from the hospital and all of his health issues on my own (severely underweight as could not latch, no bowel movements for three days with no consultants listening to my worries and a suspected heart murmur. I am so resentful of this.

All I wanted was a few days - the three of us together. I get that ss is part of that and I feel I have been accommodating until now. also money is extremely tight so we can't really afford for him to come (will have to bump up to all inclusive as dh has taught him to order the most expensive things off the menu without batting an eye). We need to dip into our savings which is our wedding fund and was gifted to me from my parents for a proper wedding ceremony or towards a deposit for a house just to pay the deposit for ds Creche next month. We wouldn't need to do this if ss does not come. Also ss does not play with other children ( told us that when abroad with bm he just stayed with her and stepdad despite other young teenagers being there) so tbhnits not money well spent in my head because I will just be annoyed with the baby.

Am I being a completely unreasonable bitch?bi feel I've been pretty reasonable until this point but I am now about to snap... So is dh apparently because we've just had a pretty heated discussion about it and he's stormed out of the house.