Christmas presents
So this year I'm thinking about getting Christmas presents for my steps, last year I didn't get anyone anything except for my bf and our baby. The unfortunate decision for me is that my steps, well 3 of 4 them truly deserve coals. But feeling the pressure this year especially by my bf who made it clear earlier in the year that I... didn't treat his kids good enough.
He told me, he felt compelled to give me money to go buy them presents last year. At that time I pretty much almost disengaged from every body in the beginning of 2021. So I am at a conflict on what to do. I would like to give gifts (I'm actually a giving person by nature) but given how they act towards me and now starting to be rude towards my daughter now that she's getting a little older, almost 2. I was thinking a gift card with like $20 each and a gift bag of varied candies.
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Time to tell your bf that you
Time to tell your bf that you'd treat his kids better if he parented them better. If they are behaving like utter shits it's because he isn't doing his job right.
Have your BF put "from dad
Have your BF put "from dad and Stellarebjmom" on one or two of his gifts. Don't let him parent poorly and allow his kids to mistreat you, then guilt you into giving them gifts.
In this situation I think the
In this situation I think the best thing if for you to suggest you and your BF go Christmas shopping together. You can help pick things out but he can spend the money. Sending you out with an allowance to spend seem like the opposite of fun. It sounds like he's testing you to do something for his kids and it's a weird dynamic.
...and if the Skids don't
...and if the Skids don't like what she buys for them, that's on her now! Another reason for her to get blamed and dumped on by them and BF.
Definitely ask for him to go along with you. Failing that, to at least provide you with a list of what he thinks is suitable for them. Or, tell him to go on his own.
I never felt that strongly
I never felt that strongly about the gifts, just "maybe she'd like this?" The final decision was always on my DH. Frankly stepkids always hate what a stepmom gives them so it's better if it just comes from dad anyway.
I would play the game. You
I would play the game. You are still new into blending. Go ahead and buy some (not terribly expensive) thoughtful presents.
Make sure to record reactions Christmas Morning, like you would with anyone else opening presents.
If they are grateful and happy (even if pretending) great! You know that for holiday's, everyone can play nice.
If they are rude and toss them to the side- you have it on camera. If your SO ever says another word, just send him that video and say no thank you!
Crappy People
including SKs, don't deserve gifts from the person they are being crappy to. Tell you BF, when his kids start treating you respectfully, you'll add them to your gift list. I haven't bought DHs' kids gifts in years. Don't regret it, don't feel bad and DH knows damn better to say anything to me, as he's seen their crappy behavior towards me first hand.
These crappy fathers
These crappy fathers reinforce bad behavior enough on their own without pressuring others to do the same.
I don’t get it…
Why can't he go buy the presents himself? If he doesn't want to get out and shop he can shop online.
He wants her to get gifts for
He wants her to get gifts for the kids that are from her. Sounds like he does get his own.
If they are rude to you and
If they are rude to you and your daughter, why would you get them anything? If your jerk of a BF is so concerned about it, he can add your name on the gifts that he gets them, that's what couples do. Why do you have to get them something separate?