Finally.

DH (who is the custodial parent of SS13) went down to the child support office on his cousin's urging (cousin is actually BM's cousin but none of her family speaks to her after she abandoned SS13 when he was 5 and decided to go nutso).

They told DH that it is pretty cut and dry. Since DH is the custodial parent, she should be paying both support and providing health insurance, per California's rules. They will issue an order to find work and they will discover whether she is actually working or not via EDD, DMV, IRS, etc.

They said there is no need to go to court unless we want to change visitation. They will handle the Order to Seek Work, etc.

We were going to meet with a lawyer this Friday for a follow up appointment, but we may hold off now and see how this goes.

The only thing we'd like to change is possibly the summer schedule as she refuses to bring him to any practices, etc. He starts high school next year and wants to play on their football team. She talked him out of playing last summer, but this year he said he's prefer to play. He's becoming more social and also it's really no fun sitting at his mom for two weeks on/ off for visitation while she goes off to work. He'd rather be here with his friends, family, etc.

But we'll look at that later. DH spoke with him about summer and football and said that maybe he could stay with us during the week when there was practice and then go to his mom's after. We figure she'll be fine with that as long as we do the driving. So once we go through a summer of that, then we can just get rid of the two weeks on/off during summer. He's a bit old for that at this point. And we can just stick with EOWe and one extended week long visit of her choosing. or something along those lines.