I know how hard it is, having been a SK and now having them myself.
My stepkids are all young, so I haven't had to deal with the teenage emotions and attitudes yet. My experience is from being a SD, not a SM when it comes to this. I would say that you need your husband to intervene here. It's not necassarily YOU that she's acting out at. She may feel as if she's been moved down on the totem pole, and your hubby needs to first assure her that he loves her and assure her of her place in the family, and then lay down the rules and tell her what he expects of her. It may also help after that for you and her to spend some time together, maybe let her know what its like to be a SM, and how hard it is. It's not as if you woke up one morning and planned to jump into that role. A child (18 or not) can not understand something until they've experienced it or its been explained to them. She has no idea what you're going through, only what she's going through.
Hope that helps

My stepdad & I don't talk a lot. These days I at least say hi (he won't until I do) but really that's as far as it goes. I tried for years to connect with this man only to be rejected & insulted, so I stopped bothering. I don't get him gifts, even for his birthday (unless my mother gets involved, but that's another story) I don't ask him for help or his advice or his opinions, & I don't do favors for him. He wants me to go to Home Depot for him? I don't think so. Even when I've gotten it right he's found something wrong, so I flat out told him no, no more. Get it yourself.

I also came to the realization that he chose to hate me. It didn't matter what I've done or said, I'm the step daughter, so he hates me. If someone else were in my position he'd hate them too. So why should I care? I mean, that's just stupid & I have no respect for that or him.

These days we get along, but that's mostly because we ignore each other. And really I'm fine with it, because at least we're not bickering.

Hipi

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

I am so sorry for you. I have been living this with my SD16 for 8 weeks. She is leaving tomorrow to return to her BM. She won't speakto my husband or me, is rude, leaves dirty dishes and messes all over the house.She has failed all of her classes and will lose credit for this semester. She could care less if her dad has to pay CS for an extra year. I had to work all day and really felt like I could not come home tonight after work. I went to Target and to Panera for dinner by myself. Got home at 7:30 with lots of fun stuff and was glad I had avoided another conflict. Occupy yourself to avoid her-she may come around SOMEDAY. But why kill yourself andyour love with it.

d