Hi All,

A few months back I posted in the forums and was blown away at the amount of support and sage advice I received. It feels so good to find your tribe in this crazy step life. Since I last posted, things are much better.

I completely backed off on trying to parent SS13 when my SO wasn't home. I guess I sort of do a engaged/disengaged balance with him. I do for him like I do my bio kids as far as laundry, help and meals go but other than that I am hands off. No more nagging over homework, following up on grades, nagging about chores, etc.

I try to completely ignore SS22 and the drama he causes. I have to be careful here though as my SO will talk to me about an issue and I mistakenly assume that he truly wants my opinion when he doesn't. He just wants to vent and doesn't want to hear my comments about what a disrespectful, lying sack of shit I think his son is.

I took back control of my finances and have started asking SO to help groceries and household supplies so that I can save up an emergency fund. I also got a credit card to improve my credit score and use it to buy my gas every month and then pay it off. I've also upped my 401K contributions at work and I'm making a long-term plan for financial stability.

One thing I've struggled with is figuring out who I am after marriage, kids, and living with SO and his kids. At one point I was really upset that he wasn't ready for marriage but these days I say a little prayer everyday that he isn't as I'm not sure I'm ready to say yes after all of this.. Once upon a time I had a close circle of friends and hobbies/interests that I liked doing. Moving to another state and having a job where I bounce around a lot to different locations has made it hard for me to find and develop relationships with people. I've looked at meetup.com for groups but they almost always meet on a day when my bio kids are home and I don't want to lose anymore time with them. I know it sounds pathetic to even ask but where do you find friends? What has worked for you?