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I think he might be listening...

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Thu, 06/17/2010 - 6:38am

[edit] I've removed some information from the post for privacy reasons [edit]

Yesterday I told Mr. Kate that I felt I was being taken for granted, and no huge blow-out fight happened.

It all started Sunday morning when i woke up to find my last $3 gone from my purse...seeing it taken without permission just had me thinking 'Jeez, I'm not allowed to have a couple dollars without someone just helping themselves to it.'

I told him how I felt...the larger problem was that I feel taken for granted when he assumes instead of asks that I do things for him. When pressed for an example, I said that he just assumes that I'll look after FSD every Saturday without asking my plans.

Comments

kit2kat00's picture

Submitted by kit2kat00 on Thu, 06/17/2010 - 8:58am

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way! my BF has said/agreed to many things in the past just to shut me up. and I'm not talking about "yeah, I'll cut the grass", I'm talking about "yeah, I'll spend part of Father's Day with you daughter" then when the situation presents itself says I forced him to say that. then when I confront him (we've been together 7 years) and ask what his intentions are with my BD, he says I'm sooooooo dramatic, says I'm attacking him and goes back to watching tv. another problem not solved.

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Thu, 06/17/2010 - 8:25am

Yep, readings these replies has convinced me that this kind of things is a big problem. I probably let him off too easily.

stepkate's picture

Submitted by stepkate on Thu, 06/17/2010 - 10:45am

We have a lot of personal space issues that I think boil down to respect as well. Some may remember ACGate where he wanted his daughter to sleep in our room when he thought its was too hot at night (bought her an air conditioner).

We naturally view 'sharing' as very different things. When we first started dating, I had no job, and he would give me money (though not as much as he's expecting from me now). He was the main proponent that we move in together after two months of dating (I had a job then and stashed some emergency escape money before agreeing). I, however, am very much a do-it-myself kind of person. My father raised me specifically not to be dependent on men and in general, to take care of myself and handle what is 'mine'. This is very different from BF. Things like sharing bath towels and loofas are gross to me. I don't like kids in my bed or my room at all, I like having a day to myself after working a full-time job all week, not watching his daughter.

Nope, his daughter isn't the problem.

stepmasochist's picture

Submitted by stepmasochist on Thu, 06/17/2010 - 10:38am

I agree that it doesn't matter the amount. He should not be helping himself to anything in your purse.

My DH refuses to go in my purse even when I tell him to. He goes and gets it and brings it to me to extract whatever item he is requesting. I even dumped all the contents one time when he brought it to me out on the bed and said "Look, see nothing's going to kill you in here." He shrunk back covered his eyes like just seeing what was in there was too scary. It cracked me up.

So, I've complained about him not just getting out what he wants when he asks me, but I'm glad he doesn't help himself. Definitely a line crossed in respect there.