You are here

SD just keeps messing up.

stepmama2one's picture

As some of you may know, SD was in and online incident about a month ago and has been stealing my things We had taken away her belongings and she was not allowed around anything that was able to access the internet. She was told that at school she would only be allowed to use pencil and paper, that she wouldn't be allowed to access their computers because that's where the incidents were happening.

There were ground rules for her punishment laid out and she was told what she could and could not do. If it didn't have anything to do with chores or school, she was grounded from it. We took away all of her electronics, all of her activities and pretty much anything she enjoys in her free time. She was told that she wasn't allowed to take anything to her room. The moment that she gets in the house, she is to put her bag and any sweater or coat in the front closet. I told her that if she wanted to act like a criminal in this house we were going to treat her like one.

So this morning I noticed she was acting a little fishy. Last time I checked her room was last Friday, guess I need to check it every day now. Anyway she was acting fishy. I was in my bedroom this morning, she has to walk past my bedroom door to get to the end of the hallway, where her room is. She didn't realize I was in there and the only thing in the direction she was walking is her room, because her room is at the end of the hall. When she walked past my door she froze when she seen me and walked backward a couple of steps. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, " I don't know, just walking in the hallway." Yeah, sure, whatever .So I told her to get in the living room and get her school stuff.

This is how she usually acts when she has something in her room that she doesn't want me to know about. When I search her room I'm like a prison guard. I search under her mattress, in her drawers, EVERY place you can think of. Now some of you may be thinking, "No wonder your kid acts the way she does.", but let me tell you that the ONLY reason it's come to this point is because of the actions she has done within the last few months. I JUST CAN"T TRUST HER. So I search in her room and find more food wrappers, which is a problem but not a big one, I just don't want bugs in my house. However, I find 4 report cards folded up under her bed. Report cards that were suppose to be signed 2 weeks ago. So we are back to square one with this kid. She isn't listening, she is hiding and being sneaky and isn't obeying the rules AGAIN. Her last day of school is Friday and I am SOOO tempted to just pull her out but not really sure if that is an option for my husband to do. I am SOOOO irritated that this kid just keeps on doing the same shit over and over again.

The dumb thing is after she got in trouble for the internet incident I found out about her grades slipping and I told her what they was and that by the end of the year I wanted her grades back up. She agreed. All of the report cards that she hid under her bed so that I wouldn't find were for grades that I had already gotten onto her about and we agreed that she would try harder! Why would someone do that. Okay I'm SD for a second, "Oh no I got bad grades on my report card. SM already knows about it and we have already had a discussion about it but I'm going to be dumb and hide them under my bed anyway. I know I am going to get in a lot more trouble by doing this but I don't want her to see grades that she already knows about." What the fuck?? I don't understand this kid. She doesn't like getting in trouble for something but she repeats the behavior, getting herself in trouble. We have told her MANY times that it will be a lot better on her to just fess up anything she needs to say, and she continuously decides to take that chance to do it. What should I do when she gets home? She gets home at 4:30 and her father doesn't get home until 6:30. I feel she needs to be pulled out of the last couple of days of school so that we can get this figured out but I may just be acting drastic since I'm am kind of peeved right now.

Comments

stepmama2one's picture

I know I was just irritated. It won't accomplish anything. She is acting up in school again and I forgot to add that a week ago she got disciplined at school for using someones phone at lunch to get on the internet. I was not told about this by anyone and found out when I checked her grades this morning.

stepmama2one's picture

This morning I told her, " Have a good day at school. Oh and by the way I will be doing room check today." The look on her face was an oh shit look. She was probably wondering when she got on the bus if she left anything in her room that I didn't need to find because she looked like she was thinking real hard about something.

stepmama2one's picture

SD is 15 and her mom was only in the picture about 20% of the time until she reached 12 and her mom has been out of her life since then other than an attempted text message once a year. I will be letting her father handle this, he just wasn't home today because he was called in on his day off. I will give him the report cards and let him do whatever I guess.

JustAgirl42's picture

I see.

Well, when she steals your stuff, I guess you can't stay completely out of things.

stepmama2one's picture

Yep. When she messes up I understand that DH should handle most things. However, when it has to do with my stuff or me then she will come to find out that I won't put up with it. I won't just let dad handle everything when I'm the one she is stealing from. Also, she is not just lying or not obeying her father when she does these things,she is disobeying me and lying to me too. If she is acting out against me then I shouldn't have to just let her do it just because she isn't biologically mine.

stepmama2one's picture

I have already heard every excuse in the book from her and it never works. She has a few that I am already expecting to hear. She will probably tell me that she had it in her pocket and forgot about it and took it to her room by mistake, however they was not folded up. She will probably tell me that it was there before I took her stuff away and that it accidentally fell under her bed. We took her stuff away over a month ago. The dates on the report cards are only from a couple of weeks ago and she just now brought them home in the last few days and put them there because I did the same search last Friday and they were not under there. There is nothing under her bed so I didn't just overlook them.

The same thing happened with her bag. DH pulled everything out of her bag over a month ago to take out belongings. He of course left her folders, books, papers ect. I double checked her bag because she has several pockets and nothing else was in there. Last week I was looking for her planner to sign it and found about 5 bracelets of hers, that we had taken away from her when she had gotten in trouble. Her first excuse was they were not in there, then it was she didn't put them in there, then it was she remembered they were in there when I said something about it, but that they had been in there since before she had gotten in trouble. I'm like okay, two adults check your bag and we both miss this, no. I hear 10 different excuses within a 30 minute period and she continues with the excuses until she thinks one of them sounds good enough for us to believe.

stepmama2one's picture

When SD got in trouble for internet violations at school, and you may not know what my last blog was, it was a serious offense. She was ordered into counseling to make sure there were no underlying issues. We have been taking her to these sessions. Today SD has another one. The problem is, I am the only available parent she has to take her to this session today because DH got called into work. He received a promotion yesterday and it wouldn't of looked good on his part to not go in today, when he was needed, so we decided that I would need to take her to this session. I have to pick her up from school.

On a normal day she would ride the bus home. Today I will pick her up from school to take her to this session. Honestly I am a little lost as to what to do. Can't give the silent treatment to a child that is in the car with you and I don't want to bring this all up right before a session because SD is one of those kids that although she has caused all of this, she will use it against US. Just like she hasn't seen or heard from her mom in years. Yet before this last time she got in trouble she sent me this long email stating how she wanted to go back to her mom's the day after she got disciplined. When she got in trouble for the internet thing she told the counselor that it was all our fault.