DH has his first counseling apt made with a counselor to be his "parenting coach". This is really huge. He has put off taking ANY steps to reunite. He was apparently waiting for school to be over (whatever) while I've been living apart from him for 8 months now. I've been waiting and waiting, wondering if he even loved me enough to get help for his violent daughter.

I took steps to protect myself after putting her in juvie twice for assault and battery on me. My two choices for the future terrify me. The one DH and I hope for means I have to trust him to parent SD15 appropriately... thus the parenting coach. I will be included in this parenting/counseling visits to assess if it is safe or me to return to my home. A professional will tell me DH and SD15's progress. So DH cannot downplay it.

The second choice is legal separation and divorce. I love my DH and skids 15 and 20. I want to be with him. I want to help SD15 if it is at all possible. I am a child therapist, but I have not been in practice because of all the drama in my own life. I am too close to my own situation to use any of my skills. All I can say is SD15 is VIOLENT, and DH and I are pacifists. Her mental issues circle around the dynamic of her relationship between her and DH. This I know for sure because she can control herself in school, etc. It's an environmental thing.

I am glad (but sad) to know she has been violent her whole life. I was not the one to set her off. My poor DH and SS20 have been beaten down for years by her. She is violent and destructive. I know DH cannot control her. But he can control how he parents her. His goal is to prepare her for me to re-enter the home by being upfront on what the consequences will be if she chooses certain behaviors. The police will be called for property damage and violence towards people and animals. But he made it clear that I (his wife) will NOT be the one leaving the house if she beats me again... SD15 will be leaving.

Trying not to get my hopes up, but DH making this apt has made me optimistic, although he is three years too late. He has some fast work to do. Sept 9th is my deadline. My lease will be over and I am moving no matter what. Either home or to my own house... but I am not staying in this apartment. I have no desire to be intimate with DH. It's been forever. The resentment has built up. But... his kisses do still give me butterflies. I tell you... I LOVE MY HUSBAND! I just hope he can stop being so numb from the years of abuse and join me in the land of the living.

Search is on for new home that I get to be the queen of. Dumping big monstrosity for more cozy, yet enough separate space for SD15 to cool her heels when pissed. DH wants to make SD15 realize she is not calling the shots... that him and I call the shots. Entitled SD said "I will NOT live in a one level house!" DH came back with... "Fine by me... go live with on your own." I have dizzy spells often so no stairs in this home because she enjoys pushing me down them. I seriously wish I was joking.

Long rant. Thank for listening, being supportive of what DH and I are trying to accomplish, praying and sending me hugs. I am in very short supply of hugs.