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stepmom2011's Blog

"Say something I'm giving up on you"

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This song has been in my head for weeks now. I have not been on here for quite a while because I went back and was ashamed that I gave in. I gave in and went back to him. Then left again. This time I filed for divorce. I left in July and filed for divorce in August. I cannot cut him out of my life. But my heart is changing.

SD15 passive aggressive disrespect.

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Around our house we have four wedding pictures. Two in the office and two in our bedroom. SD15 plays on the computer in the office. I have been re-organizing the whole house and the office is almost done except for a few boxes in the middle of the floor. I went into the office to get something and noticed the wedding pictures laid face down. One on the desk and one on the bookshelves! I turned them back up. I also have a wedding picture of DH and his late wife on the same shelf. I wanted her memory respected. That picture was left alone.

SD15 playing victim.

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After all the times she kicked my ass and I finally got the courage to call the police, after two vacations to juvie, and 8 months of separation from my husband so he could work with her... she is now playing "Victim!" She's saying she only acted those ways because I either hit her first or I "deserved it!" This was to the parenting coach my husband is working with (I think he doesn't like the words counselor or therapist, although I am a play therapist by trade.)Parenting coach challenged SD15 on each thing she shared. SD15 has no credibility.

Prayer support for DH please...

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Tomorrow is school orientation. SD15 has been pleading her case over and over with DH to go to online high school. Although DH has said no each and every time, SD15 just says she's going to school online completely ignoring him. Today he is telling her to be ready to go to orientation at the high school in the morning. He says he is fine, but his stomach hurts, he is distant, preoccupied, I can tell... he is afraid of her! He is afraid of what how she is going to react when it is final and he expects her ready in the morning. If the past is any indication of the future...

Moved home.

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So I decided that I was tired of my husband walking out the door each night from my apartment to our home. I decided that I wanted to move back to MY home. So I did. SD15 is in hiding in her room and I have yet to see her. The funny thing is I could care less! It's only a matter of time. She is texting DH as to where I am in the house so she can avoid me! It's comical! I just shake my head and tell him that she is only 15 and the brain doesn't completely develop till the age of 21.

65 days and online school?

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DH has told me that SD15 wants to go to school online. It is 65 days till I move back home. She is bargaining with DH that if she can stay home and do online school then she would go to counseling and be nice to me when I move back in. The hard part is that I think Indiana's online public school is amazing and could be a great fit for her learning style. She only has average grades in school and we know she is capable of much more.

72 day countdown...

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My lease will be up in September... almost one year since I moved out and since I've even seen SD15. DH is still at my apartment everyday. He is on track with his own therapist/parenting coach. He says he is preparing for my return. DH is concerned that he cannot control SD15. I told him that SD15 will do what she does and all I care about is how HE responds. If he steps in to protect me. Gives appropriate consequences for SD15's behavior. Call the police for any property damage or bodily harm.

I gave in.

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When I asked for the keys back for my apartment, and that DH cannot hide from SD15 here at my place anymore... I ended up letting him have the keys back. I gave in to his little jabs. He would say something like "Well, you better lock the door since I don't have a key" or "Better open the door since I don't have a key.." Every time was like a jab in the heart. I take to heart the things my husband says and it hurt when he pointed it out. Thing is... he knows it and doesn't care.

DH saw I was on Steptalk

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DH used my computer and steptalk was up. He asked me if I was blogging on this site. I said yes, and that it was like a journal. I told him he could read it, but he would not like what he saw. He said he didn't want to read it. I think he's going to anyway. It makes me want to make up all kinds of stuff just to me with his mind. My sister did that to our stepmom when we were kids. Our stepmom was abusive, cruel and should have been put in prison for the violence and torture she used on us. So my sister decided to find out if stepmom was going through our things when we were at school.

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