You did the right thing. And yes, addressing her feminine product disposal needed to be done. What you COULD do the next time she leaves stuff behind is drop any books off at school and BM can come and pick stuff up.

My s/sons would do the same thing basically because they were lazy. It all came to a grinding halt when they left crap at our place while DH had a broken leg and couldn't drive. We got the phone call and I said "No." I was not driving around dropping stuff off all over the place. DH was upset with me and said it wasn't the kids fault their parents were in 2 different houses. I called BS on that one. Do they leave their stuff at their friends places? At church? At school? Didn't think so. They knew he would bring the stuff over.

Now Ex had to drive over (she did it 5 times in 2 weeks)to pick up stuff they left behind. Then SHE got sick of it and they had to go without. Funny, they didn't forget so much in future.

One thing is the next time put EVERYTHING in the bag and text BM and tell her "Everything SD left behind is in the bag on your porch. You may want to talk to her about leaving sanitary product wrappers all over the place because this is not something I want to talk to her about."

If DH makes BM come over and pick the stuff up it will stop faster.

SD will just have to wait until the next time she's over to get her shit.

Oh, darn.

She'll live.

Take everything to her school to drop it off - including the sanitary wrappers, etc. }:) }:) }:)

SO is always dropping stuff off at BM's house. It's funny cos she never goes round to his to pick stuff up. SO says he doesn't mind because he likes to see the kids. Does my head in, he's like a bloody drop off service. And he never says no.

monkeyseemonkeydo has a great response - especially when she points out that her own kids are guilty of the same behavior. I don't know if the OP has her own children, but I do and I can assure you that my biokids forget stuff at dad's house or at my house all the time and I do NOT think it's done intentionally. It's just because they haven't mastered the practice of a) taking care of things that are important to them, b) planning ahead and c) being organized. They often forget things at school too (their homework, their lunch bags, one time my youngest forgot his ENTIRE backpack!).

Luckily their dad and I BOTH hold the line and we do NOT go get the things for them or drop them off to the other parent. Forgot your ipod? Guess you don't have an ipod! Next time maybe you'll remember it. Forgot your backpack? Guess you're going to be in trouble with your teacher tomorrow!

My DH is pretty much the same with his kids, but on occasion he does make a run to BM's house. It doesn't super bother me, though, because I enjoy my time without him I figure if it ever gets annoying enough to him, he'll stop.

It sounds to me like your problem is really the BM. She's the one being played like a puppet by your SD. Why is she texting you to bring the stuff? If your SD is old enough to menstruate, then she should be able to call and ask for it herself. And if the BM cares so much, she should come and get the stuff herself.

As for the candy wrappers under the bed - I feel your pain. My DH and I got into it AGAIN yesterday about the exact same topic!! The reason I take issue with this is because we have a house rule that all food must be eaten in the kitchen. Also, when SD had a cold I bought her a little waste paper basket to keep by her bed for used tissues. So, to me, when I see candy wrappers on the floor not ONE FOOT from the waste paper basket that tells me that a) she is not following the house rule about no food outside of the kitchen and b) she is not throwing the wrappers in the trash because she knows that we empty the trash and she would be "caught" breaking the food rule. So, for me, the biggest issue is that she is trying to DECEIVE us and lying is one of my BIGGGGGGGGGGGG no-nos.

DH does the usual "maybe she was just too tired to throw them in the trash, I don't think she's trying to deceive us". Sigh........

I'm not sure if your SD has a trash in her room, but maybe you could get her one and have your DH tell her to use it. Good luck

Rule here is unless it's school books, you forget it you go without it till next visit. My kids do have the option to walk to the other parents house to get a forgotten item if it's that important, usually they will just wait. His kids are younger so he's good about checking what they bring and sending it all back they wear what they came in back to BM's (okay I'm the one anal about this as once again he didn't pay attention and his dd wore her brand new shoes I bought and he knows they aren't to wear shoes from here to their mom's sure enough her ratty BM tennis shoes were not worn back brand new shoes went to BM's, his ds came back with her sisters too big shoes on, he had to tell BM to send her new shoes to school with their older sister to swap shoes back, of course she goes on a tirade about why they should have to wear old shoes at her house and have new ones at ours! Um cause we bought them, if you want new ones buy them he's got them week on week off, buy your own new shoes!

Things left by skids at my house were known to disappear and never be seen again.