So I wrote a blog a few days ago about how my SD12's other "parents" and happy just to let me do everything. And I'm not suprised in the least that her BM and her BM's boyfriend act that way, but it irritates me that my husband has that same attitude.

People have been telling me forever that I'm going to have to just step back and let my hubby deal with his own child. I've been afraid because I think being a 12 year old girl is hard enough and I didn't want to let her down. But she hasn't been listening to anything I say lately anyway, and it's just been exhausing! So this weekend, I finally told my DH that he is going to have to start parenting his own child because I was finished. I'll still make her school lunches, pick her up from school, buy her school supplies and clothes, and feed her - but as far as making sure she does her homework and her chores, well that will be completely up to him now.

I could tell he was irritated, but what could he say? This child is his, not mine. I agreed to help him raise her, not do it all for him, and it's really my own fault that I've let it go this far.

Anyways, so he came up with this elaborate "point system" that he thinks will get her to do what she's supposed to do. I know it won't work because he doesn't pay enough attention to what she's doing, but I just told him it sounded good. I reminded him that I won't be having anything to do with this system and that he'll have to keep up with it all on his own. But he thinks it will work.

It will be interesting to watch him try to get her to pay attention to this and actually try to earn points. The only way she does anything is if you stand over her and watch her do it. He thinks that by telling her she can earn points for fun stuff that she'll automatically be motivated to do what she needs to do. What a joke!! It's like I see a completely different kid than he does!

I imagine he will still spend the evenings in his office on his computer. So he'll have no idea what she is doing. Usually it's him in his office, and then me in the kitchen and living room trying to get SD to do what she needs to do. So now he'll be in his office and I'll be in the living room relaxing on the couch after a long day at work. And SD can do whatever she wants!

I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I do feel a bit guilty, but I have to do this for myself. I am NOT her mother, and she reminds me of that every chance she gets by how she treats me and how she ignores what I tell her. When I married a man with a 3-year old, I did agree to help out with raising her, and that's what I will still do. He needs to raise her, and I need to support him. Instead of me raising her, and him being happy to let me do it.

I think my SD will be thrilled to hear of this change, because she can so easily manipulate her father. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the show!!!!!!