"I hope the baby dies"
Walking in a store with DH, DS13 and SD14 this weekend. SD is complaining that BM is pregnant. She has a 6 year old half brother that lives with her already. She says "I hope the baby dies" we all look at her in shock. She 100%meant it and would not change her mind when DH was fussing at her.
Later in the day DH asked me if I thought it was crazy that she said that with no emotion at all. I said it was completely Cuckoo for cocoa puffs crazy pants crazy. He wasn't happy with that answer.
DH and BM both agree she needs therapy. So far neither has done anything about it.
This is the SD that has been grounded for 3 months because she keeps lying about every single thing.
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Comments
Wow talk about lack of
Wow talk about lack of empathy it's a baby!! Sounds like some kind of personality disorder.
Yeah, that’s total crazytown
Yeah, that’s total crazytown talk. That would make my skin crawl.
I have no words... other than
I have no words... other than:
Please get this child some psychological help.
Very disturbing for a child
Very disturbing for a child to say that and I agree she needs therapy like NOW.....I wouldn't trust her around the baby when he/she is born. Please push H to get her help.
I don't know that it's so
I don't know that it's so awful that she said that -- after all, at such a young age, kids don't know much about death, how to control their emotions, babies, etc. She's just feeling what she's feeling (probably jealousy) and expressing it in the only way she knows. If the baby actually died, she'd probably learn something about death and controlling what she says -- that's how kids learn things like guilt and how damaging words are.
But she's definitely telling all of you something that needs to be heard. She's not happy with the changes in her family dynamics. I think that's normal. Some counseling would be a good idea.
So how did all of you react? Did anyone explore why she said it? Did anyone try to console her? Or maybe explain how words can come back to bite us? Did anyone mention how sad the mom would be if the baby died?
It doesn't look as if anyone will get her counseling, so it might be time to confront what she's saying and try to do what what a therapist would do -- explore this stuff with her. Try to make her see what that reality would look like. Try to show her there might be some positives of a new sibling, especially when she's older.
She's just a kid. She doesn't know how to handle the feelings she's having. She blurted that out and that's an opportunity to help her work though some stuff. She sounds as if she's a handful of trouble right now and maybe you're not inclined to help her out. But in the long run, she's still your problem to some degree so it would be better to help her than just let this fester.
I asked her why she said that
I asked her why she said that. She said she doesn't care what happens to the baby as long as he doesn't live. I told DH that he really needed to let BM know what she said so she can talk to her. He didn't. I can't do everything for this child. DH doesn't want to think anything is wrong with his perfect princess.
I would feel different if
I would feel different if she were under the age of 10. The younger the child the more likely that they selfishly will say something like this without actually understanding what they are saying.
Could be wrong, but I think SD14 said this. I dont buy that this is just a kid talking. I do fully agree with you that she probably doesnt know how to handle what she is feeling, but it doesnt mean the statement - especially at her age - is not worrying or a possible red flag. I am also in agreement with you that it is better to help because any problem - whether psychological or emotional - will get worse if left unattended. There is more to this than just a petulant outburst.
We've seen this trope before,
We've seen this trope before, but it's usually when the SM is pregnant, not the BM. That is a whole other level of disturbing.
Agree with Myss. Tique. A 14
Agree with Myss. Tique. A 14 year old saying this is waaaay different from a younger child saying it. At 14, she knows exactly what she's saying and what it means. She needs counseling, and her father needs to inform her mother so that BM is aware of SD's feelings toward the baby and can act accordingly. If he's a normal human being, he would feel tremendous guilt if SD ever did anything to that baby and he had not spoken up.
She knows what she said was
She knows what she said was malicious. Even I am afraid of this girl, especially with her constant lying and manipulations!