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Lying, cheating DH is gone

stepmomto2many's picture

Submitted by stepmomto2many on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:10am

I was going to wait until he went on his little family vacation with BM to pack his bags and file for divorce but it didn't work out that way. I found out the pass code to his phone and went through his text. I read one text between him and some unknown woman implying that he wants to taste her from front to back.

I'm done. I kept a calm face packed him a suitcase and told him I read his text and that he needs to go find somewhere to stay for a few days. He gave me some lame excuse that his friend was using his phone. But after seeing him emailing girls a few weeks ago and believing his excuse that it was all a scam. I feel like an idiot. I should have listened to you guys but I listened to him. I tried to convince myself that he would never hurt me like that. I kept reminding myself of our first dates and our wedding day. Him telling me he was going on a vacation cruise with BM and their kids and that DD and I were not invited broke the camel’s back. This text just completely shattered it. I'm done I can't even look at his face.

I am a mess but I’m trying to keep it together for BD3. I have loved this man and given him years of my life. I yearn for the good times. I love him and I would never hurt him like this. Why would he hurt me? I've tried so hard to be a good wife and mom and stepmom to his kids. I gave him all my love all my heart. I put up with all his drama. I gave him sex it’s not like he needed to go looking elsewhere. I don't understand. I have a meeting with a lawyer this afternoon. I know he is going to try to sweep me off my feet with apologies but I can't I just can't take him back. I deserve better. I have to let him go but God it hurts. I don’t even feel like myself anymore. We made vows dammit! I was a great wife.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:14am

I am so, so, so very sorry.

Just know that he has a problem that has nothing to do with you.

stepmomto2many's picture

Submitted by stepmomto2many on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 2:35pm

chokinonlemons :jawdrop: OMG talk about tough love. This comment makes me want to wash my lips with soap and drive out to his hotel and slap the shit out of him.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:17am

Wow, he sounds EXACTLY like my 2nd ex husband. I mean, EXACTLY.

You were a great wife, but that doesn't matter to these egotistical assholes. It's all about conquering as many women as they can all the while knowing they have one at home.

I'm sorry you're sad and it hurts. I've been there. I kicked his cheating ass to the curb and have NEVER looked back. I now have an HONEST husband. One that I truly can trust with anything anytime and have full confidence I will NEVER lose myself again.

Dig deep and find yourself again. I got my Detroit Attitude back and it'll never leave me again. Life's too short to be miserable. Don't look back, always look ahead!

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:18am

Get tested for STDs immediately.

I loved a loser once too. It hurt like hell to leave but it was the best thing I ever did.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:18am

dup

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:21am

You will be okay.

And you will look in the mirror every day and tell yourself you will be okay and one day, before you know it, you'll be better than okay.

Best of luck to you and hold strong!

MommaSaSa's picture

Submitted by MommaSaSa on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 1:04pm

UGGGH thissssssssssss SUUUUUUCKSSSSS! Especially the part about you taking on his kids and being a good wife, and getting stabbed in the back and bitch slapped by the person who is suppose to love you the most. I so so so feel for you. But RUN. Get as far away from him as you can. Drop everything you had with him and go get what you really deserve out of life. Because as far as he's concerned, it's not your fault he cheated or lied or is a selfish asshole. It's something inside of him, an emptiness that he is trying to fill with all that garbage.
I don't know you, but you're way too good for this. Keep your dignity intact and WALK AWAY GRACEFULLY WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH. Don't stay in the why's and what if's zone. You're not the reason this happened. I made it through my separation by singing that Justin Timberlake song to myself... "what goes around, comes around..." over and over it would play in my head until one day my ex's whole entire world came crashing down on him and his family did an intervention on him and tried to get him to go to rehab. He immediately called me and blamed me for the intervetion, but I just had to laugh. You TRULY TRULY get what you put out in this life. He'll get his.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 1:15pm

stepmomto2many - thank him. He has shown you what a true JACKASS he is. There is no chance of you backsliding now.

Yes you have given him years of your life. Yes he has hurt you tremendously. But THANK HIM...thank him for being stupid enough and transparent enough that you FOUND OUT and will LEAVE his sorry ass.

And thank him for having to send you CS every month! NAIL HIS ASS TO THE WALL.

JMC's picture

Submitted by JMC on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 2:15pm

I'm so sorry; try to stay strong. Know that you weren't the problem, he was. Be thankful you found out now instead of investing anymore of your precious time, energy and love in the relationship. You and your little one deserve so much better than this jerk.

stepmomto2many's picture

Submitted by stepmomto2many on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 2:31pm

Thanks guys for being here for me and offering your support. Your support really means so much.

Yosemite's picture

Submitted by Yosemite on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 2:57pm

I'm sorry you are going through this. It sucks. He's a POS. Let him go with BM...you deserve better than this loser.

steppingsucks's picture

Submitted by steppingsucks on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 4:01pm

Everyone on here is absolutely correct...YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER DESERVE BETTER!!!

My son was not even 1 when his father left, and it was devastating. After a lot of crying and feeling very depressed, I eventually moved on, but it took some time. Movies helped me a lot, because I just felt so alone, and even stupid for putting up with it. It's bad enough to get hurt by a boyfriend or husband, but when they can do that to you when you share a child, that's the ultimate betrayal.

I went to watch a movie by myself at the time, and it was very helpful. I'm sure that you've heard of it; it's called "Hope Floats". Besides the stepkids, it sounds very similar to your situation, and it's very truthful on how you will feel.

When you're ready and you feel up to it, a Madea movie called "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" is also a good one to watch. Whether your black, white or purple, this movie is truthful in a lot of ways as well for women who are mistreated by men.

When you feel weak, focus what energy you have on your daughter. Focusing on her will empower you to focus on yourself. And if you have friends and family that you can lean on, please do it. That's what they're there for.

You can do it! I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Hislastwife's picture

Submitted by Hislastwife on Tue, 05/07/2013 - 12:10am

(((HUGS))). You deserve so much more girl!! Hes a sad loser slimeball!! File for divorce then thank him- cause after youve properly healed from all this- youll realize that you were soooo much better then he will ever get again!!! & trust me...he will realize it too!!! Hang in there & stay strong!!

VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Tue, 05/21/2013 - 4:12pm

I can not fathom how some people are just fucking asshole jerks! I'm so sorry. Good riddence to this jack-hole! Stay strong! Take him for everything!