Yes, to some degree although not as bad as your situation. BM gets SD on weekends only. I do all school transportation, school functions, doctor and dentist appointments, summer camp arrangements, etc. And she gets a check every month.

Recently it occurred to me it's just like we are paying a babysitter. At a pretty cheap rate, actually. It makes it easier to think of it like that.

DH has always thought of CS as his "Paying BM to leave me alone" money.

I hope you can get the court to order that CS is modified retroactively, so she has to pay it back...

I am a stepmom with majority custody. We have SD 5-6 days a week and one to two weekends a month... meaning her BM has her about 6 days a month and sometimes less... during the summer we have her 8 weeks of the 10 week break, but BM just asked me today to take SD and her other younger child for the weekend because she needs a "break"... a break from what I ask? she barely works (one day a week selling jewelry she makes with sea shells - we live on an island) & lives off of welfare... meanwhile I work more than full time and I am essentially raising her daughter... I do love being a step mom very much, most all of the time actually, but sometimes I want to smack this woman who gave birth...sometimes I want a day off as well to go sit on the beach ALONE - what is alone time I wonder?! It makes me crazy that she doesnt have to pay a dime for her own daughter's expenses (private school, health insurance, dental work, tutoring, sports, dance classes, summer camp, etc.) and then we GIVE HER money..? I am going to try to think of it as cheap babysitting..that is clever... I truly think I would feel better about the situation if she would try to find a job. I am horrified that my SD has a BM with such lack of concern about her economic situation as a role model. In fact, my SD came home a few weeks ago and said she might be a "single mom" when she grows up because then the government will take care of her. When questioned on what "take care of" meant, my SD said, "well, like my mom, she gets a food card, her rent paid, her phone paid, and she even gets gas money!" Meanwhile, I am screaming inside, and thinking about the money that we give her for watching her daughter 6 days a month.

well... that felt good just to type it all out thanks