We thought that tonight would be one of our first opportunities to do something in public that is related to the kids where both DF and I would be there AND BM would be there...and that things could be mature and grown-up. Our daycare provider is hosting a little barbeque and drinks evening for only parents, so that we can all socialize. Our daycare lady made a really big point to make sure we all knew about it and that she really wants everyone to go. It works out perfectly for us because we have the kids tonight, but our friends' daughter is having a birthday party, and they said they don't mind having the kids without us there since they'll be busy playing anyway.

Last night, DF and I were pondering whether or not BM would actually go to this party or not -- she doesn't have the excuse of not finding a sitter since she doesn't have the kids tonight. Literally as we were talking about this, BM calls DF.

She was concerned about whether I would be going to the party or not, and felt that it should be just she and DF going. She said, "I thought this party was for PARENTS, not for people's girlfriends." DF corrected her and said, "She is my fiance, if you forgot." So then BM asks if she should take her boyfriend then. DF told her that it's her call on what guest she chooses to take although if she's trying to make comparisons between me and her boyfriend it's a weak one. BM's bf goes over to her house after the kids are sleeping and doesn't have a thing to do with them or seem interested in the slightest in being a parent. So BM actually agreed that it wasn't a good comparison.

She continued that she has never had a problem with me, and that she knows I am a parenting figure in the kids' lives, etc, but that she really wouldn't be comfortable having me there. First of all, EVERY issue that BM and DF have is totally between THEM...I've never ever been involved in any of the drama EVER. I've never, ever talked to her in person or on the phone or via text or email badly - we've always been appropriately nice to each other. However, she and DF fight constantly, and almost every telephone conversation ends badly. It baffles me as well that she thinks that being somewhere with just she and DF would be a GOOD idea, given their history. If anyone was to break up a bad vibe, it'd be ME and MY presence there.

So DF said, "This is how everyone at day care knows us - they don't know ME AND YOU, they know ME AND STEPPINGUP. We are a couple, we are getting married, we are having a baby, we are both raising the kids. You need to keep an open mind and realize that we are going to be doing this for the rest of our lives. We will have school functions and sporting events and other things that happen that we all will be present for." She agreed, but then said that she didn't think that "this event" was the right way to do our first social outing all together. DF said, "What do you want to do, go get a drink with me and SteppingUp?" Wait for it..... wait for it....

...and SHE SAID YES! HAHAHA! How on earth is the three of us having alone time together LESS awkward than being in a room with 20 other people where we don't even have to talk to each other!? Her logic baffles me. Not to mention, in the past when we've tried to get together with her to talk about co-parenting, she refuses to work with us. Plus, she actually works with one of the parents at our daycare, so she's the one who knows someone there, not us! You'd think she'd be happy that she had an ally.

And finally, after she had no more arguments left and DF wouldn't budge, she admitted the REAL problem: "I just don't know if I can see you two happy together. I'm not ready for that."

DING DING DING! We have an answer to all of our problems! After 2 years she is STILL jealous of our relationship. I don't blame her...she can't seem to keep a boyfriend for more than 4-6 months, and has never been engaged/married although she has had two fathers to her children. I think if she were truly happy in her current relationship, she would be totally fine seeing us together. I feel a lot of pity for her that she feels so threatened by our relationship that she won't just suck it up and be an adult. DF ended the conversation politely by saying, "I think if you just have an open mind that things will turn out a lot better than you expect. You really need to think about going to this." And her response was, "Well, I'll probably just tell daycare I can't make it. I'm sure she'll understand my predicament." After all of that conversation, BM still didn't 'get it'.