FDH's stepmom....the woman I want to be!
Have I ever told any of you how much I LOVE FDH's stepmom? She is the most caring, gracious, amazing woman I've ever known. My family threw me a bridal shower last weekend back in my hometown (3 states away). I called FDH's mother to ask her if she htought I should invite his family knowing they wouldn't be able to come? She said no...I thought maybe after this conversation it would "click" that she might want to host a bridal shower here for FI's family. I would never ASK anyone, but I figured if someone were to do it, it'd be my fiance's mother, right?
Nope.
Stepmom to the rescue! She asked me two weeks ago if I'm having a shower here. I told her no one has offered and she couldn't BELIEVE that my FMIL didn't. She said, "Well, would you mind if I threw you one?" She was a little worried about stepping on my FMIL's toes, but after we talked about it a bunch she goes, "Ahhh! To hell with stepping on your FMIL's toes! I've been putting up with that for years! That's no way to live life!" HAHA! I just love her.
Now more drama of course....FMIL is complaining about the date we set. so we changed it for her even though that means invites had to go out like YESTERDAY. I've been calling her for THREE DAYS to get her list of people she wants invited to it. Absolutely no response. ARG! She's that type of BM who just doesn't care about things that don't affect her directly. Of course she would be mad if the 'other' side was well-represented and her side wasn't there or had too little notice to make it. Oh well. What do you do? So I just guessed the people FMIL would want. And warned her again that invites were going out today.
I just now got a text from FMIL: "I'm sure you can figure out who to invite. Been busy." My future step-mom-in-law has been dealing with this BM for a looonnnggg time...and she's totally the same as all the others! I'm SO glad that I don't have to just have FMIL in my life, that I also get an amazing FSMIL 
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Yes it's kind of how it's
Yes it's kind of how it's always been. FSMIL the caring one who plans the parties because FMIL can't get her own crap together to do it...but of course seething with anger and jealousy that nothing is planned "her" way. I can't stand women like that. It is kind of awkward but they've been in the situation since FDH was like 5 so they've had plenty of time to learn to suck it up in front of others.
I'm jealous! I want a normal
I'm jealous! I want a normal step MIL. All I got was crazy BM. Darn! Lucky girl...MIL asked to throw me a shower - asked my parents if she could do it at their home and then did nothing. My mom and I did all the food. She only sent invites to HER family that she wanted there and then pouted the entire time because too many people "from (our) side" showed-up to play the games she wanted to play. I would have prefered no shower to the amount of stress that went into last minute hosting my own.
Wish I had a sane one to run to for backup.
My MIL is the same way. She
My MIL is the same way. She isn't mean or anything. But she didn't throw a bridal or baby shower for me. Guess she had already been there and done that before with my DH so who gives a shit, right?
Yeah and my son is almost 7 months old and she has only seen him 3 times since he was born. But I really don't care. It's her loss.
EXACTLY the same. I
EXACTLY the same. I understsood that throwing me a baby shower was a little awkward for his side of hte family, since they had thrown one previously for BM. Of course, we had NOTHING left over from that, so thankfully my own family and coworkers threw me a baby shower, and of course FDH's family sent us gifts when he was born. But since FDH was NEVER married, I would have thought his mom would have thought to throw us a shower... but like you said, she's not purposefully mean she just doesn't think of others.
And yes...FMIL has seen my baby twice in 6 months and she only lives 2 hours away. But she's gone to Florida, Las Vegas, and all over the state for other trips.