I was a fat kid (no, seriously -- 11-years-old and 155 lbs. is FAT), FDH was a fat kid (think he broke 200 lbs. before 16), and nearly everybody in his family is STILL fat (only one of them still counts as "kid," that being FSIL 16). FDH is determined his DD3 will not go that route, will not have spend agonizing, sweaty summers with no friends living in fear of bathing suits. I share his determination, but for me, it's not about not getting fat -- its about not growing up to hate and fear her body based on its size and proportion.

Anyway, this discussion came up because of the persistent drama vortex that exists at FMIL's house. Apparently, she had over the wife and child of FDH's best friend for a playdate and said wife called FSD3 fat. Reports conflict -- either she said it to FSD3 and was joking or said it to FMIL out of FSD3's hearing and wasn't.

In any case, FDH found out and got understandably prickly. It's HIS kid, after all -- he wants to punch in the face of the woman or man who makes her feel bad. But, moreover, he got prickly because HIS MOTHER presumed to lecture him about FSD3's weight. This is the woman who routinely feeds the child junk food, fed her own children junk food, has had five children that all were fat or are still fat, and INSISTS that the child can't do exercise because she has asthma (she doesn't).

It could've ended there, but FSIL got involved. While hanging out at Easter with FSD3 and I, she brought up the fat incident in that way that 16-year-olds do when they want to bond by putting down others (hey, most of us have been there). FMIL overheard her and immediately lashed out at FSIL not to say the word "fat in front of the baby." FSIL lashed back, accusing her mother of making HER (FSIL) fat by never talking about weight issues at all and always letting her eat junk food.

I picked up FSD3 and left. I think I made it all the way to the house before I started laughing, but then I had to tell FDH what I was laughing about. He was not amused. We left shortly afterward.

I can TELL this bugs him because FSD3 is a picky eater and he can be a guilty daddy -- the results of which are usually McDonald's or pizza. He's been trying to get her outside more and get her active and he says he won't push on the food issue because "kids who don't grow up with sweets go wild with them and get fat like I did."

Uh... I grew up with sweets. And the right to eat whatever I wanted when I wanted. And a Mom who didn't introduce me to the word "fat," because she "didn't want to give [me] a complex." AND I GOT FAT. AND I SORT OF HAVE A COMPLEX.

No right answers here, huh?