The seasons change and the skid clothing battle begins again.
We had ONE nice day a week ago, the first nice day we've had yet this year. By nice, I mean 60 degrees. The weather forecast said it would be back to 40 degrees with a chance of sleet/snow the following day. Also the wind was going to be 30mph...brrr! I dropped off my son at daycare that day and saw SS3 there. He was wearing SHORTS and a t-shirt. I commented about how it's silly to wear shorts when it's not summer out yet, and our daycare lady kind of gave me a look and shrugged her shoulders. So I told FDH about it later, and he called BM to ask her why their son was wearing shorts when it was freezing out. She FLIPPED on him, because she "assumed" that daycare called him to "tell on her". She got all pissed off and went on a tangent about how daycare keeps 'picking on her' for things and that every time the kids act up daycare acts like it's her fault. (well, come on now...they don't act like that when we're around, only when BM's around...so derrrr).
Okay so this Wednesday, we pick up the skids and SD6 looks like a random hooker from Vegas!!! She had knee high black hooker boots, hot pink leggings, and a huge puffy fur coat. Not kidding, she looked ridiculous. And she went to school like that!
FDH has told BM before NEVER to send her to our house in the hooker boots. So he called her and told her that he's going to throw away the hooker boots bc they aren't appropriate for a 6 year old to wear for anything but dress up. She flipped again saying that if he's going to throw away her shoes that he needs to buy her new ones. To which he retaliated, "We ALWAYS have to buy her new shoes because YOU never send her in approprate ones!!" (seriously...we buy her a new pair every other month because dumb BM sends her to our house in inappropriate shoes for the weather.) Then the shoes somehow end up at BM's even though I try to keep them at our house, and then they disappear forever. I can think of 5 pairs of shoes specifically that I haven't seen since I bought them.
So the weather and clothing battles of the spring time begin. The next nice day we have, I guarantee the skids will be dressed in flip flops the next day even if it's only 40 out.
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This is exactly how the
This is exactly how the conversation went a year ago when SD5 first wore the hooker boots to our house, too. FDH told BM AND SD that they would "go away" if she wore them to our house again. Apparently they both forgot.
It amazes me they even make those boots for kids that young!
Be careful, some BMs are
Be careful, some BMs are pretty smart! I knew one who would send her kids to their father's for the weekend in the worst, cheapest clothes she could find just so he and SM would go shopping for them. Then she would put all the new, nice clothes in their closets at her house and send them again in inappropriate clothing for the next weekend visit! Why not stock a closet for her clothes at your house for when she comes to visit, and send her back home in the inappropriate clothes she was sent to your house in? At the very least she'll learn to dress properly somewhere.
Yes, I do think BM does this
Yes, I do think BM does this for sure with SS's clothes.
And we DO keep a stock of clothes at our house, and shoes...like I said, somehow they end up at BM's. The kids play outside a lot at our house so we have tons of tennishoes and appropriate 6-yr-old shoes for her to wear...but then BM will come and pick her up and she'll run and jump in the car and the shoes are gone. Or FDH forgets.
The OTHER issue with all of this regarding SD6 is that she is actually NOT FDH's daughter...she's not our kid at all. She's the sister of FDH's son...so we absolutley have no obligation other than the goodness of our hearts to buy her anything!
This is what I try to do for
This is what I try to do for the most part to avoid the so common clothes fight. My DD has a full wardrobe, a couple of pairs of sneakers, boots, dress shoes, and several pairs of sandals at my house but I will usually send her back in whatever she was wearing when I picked her up. Not always but when she doesn't wear that outfit back, I will wash it while she is gone and send it back the following week.
It's just not a battle worth fighting.
DH and I go through the
DH and I go through the clothing battle too. We're not sure if BM picks out SDs clothes or if it's SD, but SD ALWAYS wears short sleeves. Even in the winter time and she rarely wears a coat thats suited for the weather. SD is 9 years old and all her panties are size 4. We have plenty of clothes here for SD when she's here. And we even have heavy coats, gloves and hats for her here. We always make sure SD is wearing clothes suited for the weather. We always wash the clothes SD came in and thats what she wears back to BMs house. We used to wonder if BM dressed SD like this on purpose in hopes of DH buying her new clothes for BMs hosue. Nope..didn't happen. We buy her clothes for here. And BM wonders why SD is always sick.
We've been having really cold weather too. It 'might' get up to 60 today or tomorrow and then back down to the 40's and 50's.
Even if the kid picks out the
Even if the kid picks out the clothes, they're a KID! the PARENT needs to put a foot down and say No...that's not appropriate!
Especially living in climates where you and I live, we know that we need to atleast dress in layers becuase you never know what can happen from one day to the next.
We used to deal with this all
We used to deal with this all the time with SD. she would get sent to our house looking like shit. Old clothes, clothes that were way too small with her little belly hanging out the bottom. Old underwear, greasy hair. We would get her out the clothes, make her wash her hair and change into her clothes at our house. Then she would put back on the ratty clothes to go home in. MY DH thinks that BM would intentially do this so she would look poor like she doesn't have enough money to take care of her.