Phone call from BM
My SS20 was over to visit the other day, and he needed to call his mother (MMM). His phone wasnt working so he used DH. I guess she didnt answer the phone when SS called, so later on she called DH phone back. DH explained to her that it wasnt him calling it was SS. And no he doesnt know what SS wanted. MMM then tells my DH "SSHM sent me a message on FB. She is freaking crazy, tell her to grow up!" DH told her that she is the crazy one and for her to grow up. Then she got pissed and hung up.
The message she is talking about,I wrote last week or so after her visit here, when she was disrespecting me. Telling my Dh "you're not happy with SSHM, you're just not happy, you need to divorce her and find someone who will make you happy"
It is in my other post.
I did write her a FB message, and I did tell my Dh about it, he agreed with it. This is what I wrote to her.....
"Just a message.....Keep your nose out of DH and my marriage! Just because your ass is unhappy doesn't mean that we are. Grow up and move the hell on!!!"
I dont think I sounded crazy, but I knew when I wrote it, she would tattle to my Dh about it instead of just ignoring it or dealing with it.
She reminds me of a kid when she doesnt get her way she tattles to daddy LOL
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Comments
It is VERY VERY VERY hard to
It is VERY VERY VERY hard to do, but it is the best thing to do. I could go off on BM like no one has ever even dared to dream and would be justified and not be faulted for it by anyone. BUT, silence is not weakness. Silence is not defeat. Silence is not fear. Silence is not backing down. Silence is not acceptance. Silence is the best weapon with women that desperately want you to engage with them. They cannot fight with themselves. Every day of my life I want to rip BM's face off, but I don't because in the end, she is simply not worth my future. I will not sacrifice my freedom to give her what she most rightly deserves. If a BM is trying to push your buttons, do not give her the satisfaction she so craves. You win every time that way.
Every time I catch myself
Every time I catch myself wanting to call BM and rip her a new one, I tell myself even though it would be so deserved, it would not do anything because she is beyond repair. I would love to just beat her to pieces but then she would win. I would be in trouble, she would be the victim, and I would lose. Did I win momentarily? Yes. Is she thinking of me and all the horrific things she did to bring it upon her as she sucks her dinner thru a straw? Yes. Will she change? No. In this last year, the silent treatment, like you said, has become my norm. Not because I am a weakling or because I just lay down and take her abuse, but because I am smarter than she is and I know retaliation will work in her favor, not mine. Unfortunately, in today's world, that is the way the system is set up. The wronged cannot right those wrongs and the ones responsible for them are protected by law. It is bullshit, but it is what it is and I will not let her use that against me. I sit quietly and waiting for Karma to destroy her for me.
I think you both sound
I think you both sound crazy.
How childish. Just stop. SERIOUSLY.
Please listen to Echo and
Please listen to Echo and SAF.... sorry to be so honest, but what you did really was immature.
there is no point in engaging
there is no point in engaging with BM, do you really think a light bulb went off when she read this and suddenly she said to herself, you know what? She is so right?
Doubtful.
All ya did was stir the pot, and believe me there is a laundry list of things I could tell BM but I figured out a long time ago, it wont make a difference and will only make my life miserable
Ignore her
I wouldn't go so far as to
I wouldn't go so far as to say immature, OP. You were under direct attack and were just being human. I do think BM baited you and you took the bait. Hindsight is everything right? So far I'm lucky to not have BM problems. But I do get baited all the time by SO and do I take the bai t. I'm working on it though.
Also with the leaving crap behind, I totally get that. I personally have no problem with throwing out SDs stuff, but...you risk being treated like a criminal if you do. Don't give SDs, BM, and even DH the ammunition they need to characterize you as the villain. I don't know, this is what would happen in my house. If DH will back you and then take the heat for you then I think it's safe to throw it out.
I have txted BM a few times
I have txted BM a few times when I felt she has gone too far or done something inappropriate. Which happens a lot because she is an idiot and doesn't think. But she hates confrontation so she usually just apologizes and plays dumb because she WANTS everyone to like her and it bothers her that I don't and probably never will.
and Yes silence is the best but it is hard to do but it can be fun when all you BM wants to do is talk to you and be friends. I didn't talk to her for almost a year and she finally broke down and e-mailed me about us being friends. I pretty much told her there was no chance of that and she hasn't e-mailed me since.
I have never once textd, FB
I have never once textd, FB or emailed bm b/c she does not deserve my time or energy. As far as I am concerned she doesn't even exist. Ss16 doesn't act like she exists either. But for reasons unknown to mankind my ex contacted her shortly after DH and I got together and was trying to plan our demise with her. Ss19 found his emails to her in her email box (he snoops) and printed them out for me. Stupid crazy ex, thinking anyone would want to side with him to take me down, not even bm wanted to engage him. Anyhow, bm wants nothing to do with us and us with her. She sometimes texts dh over ss19 who for some reason always thinks his moms going to do more for him then she ever does. She promises something, ss19 falls for it and gets his hopes up, and she never follows through and ss19 is crushed. If any of you watch Survivor, ss19 is exactly like Brandon. Ok I got off track.
It's always best if you don't engage bm, and only let dh do any engaging on behalf of the kids. It's like if our dh's would contact our ex's - haha that's almost too funny to imagine.
A lot of these crazy GU BM
A lot of these crazy GU BM types have strong narcissistic tendencies. By paying them any attention whatsoever, you are just fueling their instability.