Dear BM: Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
SO, SD's birthday was this past weekend. I blogged previously about BM wanting to meet DH to pick up the CS, so she'd have it for SD's birthday. Well, Friday morning, DH called her cell & left a message to find out whether or not they were going to meet & in return he received a mass of text messages. They came, one right after another as follows:
1) Imatwork DHwhat is it u want? i will not argue wu.!Ifu have 208 2 give forur child suppot 2day lemme no
2)DH i hve dun erythingu have asked of me 2 notgo thru ur job abt child support nd u r not being ferr 2 our children by nt paying the
3)past2 wks now nd that money is 4 SDbday. i nevr thot u wud b this way @ all..!!! i expected @least 4u2 pay that much
When he got this one, he texted her back with, "what the hell? just call me."
Then he recieved:
4) im @work i get off@12 today so text me if u have solution to this problam
5) c u have that attitude already don't b likethat pls towards me pls.im @ work i will c if i can sneak otside 2 call u but if u start yellin
6) @me them im hangin up
I locked all of it into his phone...the ones she sent & the one he sent so that he'll have them should he need them anytime in the future...or in case we just want to read them & laugh at her. All he said in his message that started it was, "Hey it's me. You said something about meeting me to get the child support sometime this afternoon. Let me know if you still want to do that."
She did end up meeting us that evening after DH picked me up from work. DH asked about the school tests. She said that they had them & they were at home taking them. He asked how long it would take to get the results & she said around a week or so. He said, "Please, just let me know as soon as you get them back so I can know they are enrolled & getting into school." She said, "I'll let ya'll know for sure when SS graduates so ya'll can be there". WTF??? DH said, "Please let me know when you get the results back".
So, DH has decided he isn't borrowing money from me anymore to pay his CS. He gets paid every 2 weeks at this job, so she'll get paid every 2 weeks when he gets his check.
She didn't call his phone yesterday, but sent another slew of shitty texts. I locked them into his phone along with the others.
With no previous conversation, this is what she sent:
1) DH y wontu send the child spt check evry wk it not here again u noyou r nly hurting our kids by nt sending it 4them.
2) nd uwonder y SD will nt tak 2 u its bcuz of that u dnt keep yor word. pls send there spt check.do the right theng pls
3)SD SS and i r so sick right now nd i wz praying4 the ck 2b here 2day 2 by us cold medacine o jst cnt beleve i honored ur request
4)request 2 not go thru ur job like b4 nd i beleved u would do what u said nd mail to us every wk nd u havnt pls put it n the mail
5) an im textng u bcaus im sick nd im disapointed in u 3 nt keeping ur word by sending us the child supt so just mail it
LOL! He called & was talking to her when he came to pick me up yesterday. He told her she needed to stop with the shitty messages. He told her he gets paid every 2 weeks & that he isn't borrowing from me anymore to cover his off weeks...that from now on she would be getting her money every 2 weeks too. She was pissed because "you're making it so hard on us to get by". She was mad about it coming every 2 weeks. He explained it's the same amount of money per week. She just needs to make sure she budgets & spreads it out to make it work.
She started threatening to go through his employer to get the money & again he explained that she'll still only get paid every 2 weeks...when he does. Just like his last employer, she'll have to wait for it to come through the mail. He told her if she tries it, it could mean him losing his job because she'll be shitty & they won't want to deal with her, & then there won't be any money to pay. When he finished talking to her, I suggested that when she brings it up again, he can offer to keep it the way it is, or if she wants to go about it another way, he can set it up through CS enforcement, & she can wait 6 weeks to get a check. Let those be her options.
She keeps threatening to take him to court for a "raise". He explained again yesterday that he is making significantly less than he was when the original order was made & the support will likely decrease...even without SS coming off. As for coming after my income...I barely make enough for me to get by alone. It isn't enough for a court to determine that our household has enough extra coming in to order him to pay more. He told her to go ahead & file the paperwork. It'll save him a trip to the courthouse to file to have SS taken off because he isn't in school.
What a fool. She blew $200 on SD for her birthday with no thought to what she'd NEED money for in the days after. I don't believe any one of them is sick anyway...aside from in the head. SD posted all weekend about her birthday & the friends she had over & they spent the weekend with her. BM posted Sunday & Monday about how 'AMAZING' the whole weekend was & how much fun she had "with the girls". No mention from either of them about feeling sick or under the weather.
Also, it sounds like the mama/stepdaddy money train is slowly coming to an end. SS told DH when they talked a few days ago that mama & stepdaddy have been having to borrow money from stepdaddy's parents to pay their own monthly bills.
He finally called & left a message for the lawyer yesterday. The secretary didn't know if he'd be back in the office today or tomorrow.
Her entitlement & stupidity irk the SHIT out of me!
I know her threats are meaningless & have no bearing. I don't worry that she'd have a leg to stand on in court. In fact, I believe if she were to go in with one leg under her, it'd be knocked right out as soon as the judge found out the kids still aren't in school a month after it's started.
It's just the attitude...the "I can't believe you're doing this to us, after all I've done for you!" shit that bugs the HELL out of me!
They say violence doesn't fix anything, but I really believe if I could kick her fucking head off & throw it in front of a fast-moving train it would fix a lot of shit.
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"I really believe if I could
"I really believe if I could kick her fucking head off & throw it in front of a fast-moving train it would fix a lot of shit."
love it!!!
Yeah, he's been working with
Yeah, he's been working with this job for about 3 months now. He was laid off twice in 3 months just before that.
No benefits. No paid time off. Smaller paychecks, but we are thankful to have what we have. It's scary, with so many people out of work & unable to find jobs, to be another name added to that list.
The part that actually did make me LOL was where she told him she was disappointed in him (still makes me LMFAO!) as though she holds a candle to ANYone's expectations.
What a wackadoo. Why doesn't
What a wackadoo. Why doesn't your DH just go through the child support office and let them garnish. Then he would not have to talk to the hag so much.
He's had bad experiences with
He's had bad experiences with DCSE in the past. Experiences that wouldn't really apply to the situation now, but when she had the kids before she left the last time & he wasn't allowed at the marital home (aside from his visitation weekends) he was paying support but because it took so long for her to get her first check she sold everything out of his garage to his "friends" for next to nothing. It was all of the tools, machines, & equipment his dad had left to him when he passed.
She told his friends he wasn't paying his support & she needed to get some food for the kids, so they bought all his stuff & when he offered to give their money back to get his things, they told him no.
It's just something that was a really bad experience that's stuck with him.
In my opinion, he should have it done that way. If for no other reason than just because she's a bitch & she'll have to wait on the first check.
"But it is getting closer to
"But it is getting closer to done!!!!!!"
This is what we repeat almost daily. LOL!
I hope this job comes through for him. With bills to pay, it's stressful not knowing where the money will come from. Good luck!
It went through his job
It went through his job before & because she kept calling & bitching about her money not being there the day after it was mailed they were getting pissed at him.
He's been laid off twice in the past 6 months. We need him to be able to keep this job. If she starts raising hell with this guy, he'll be unemployed again.
As for court, we're all for it. It'll save him a day off work to make the trip to file.
For the money, he has been paying weekly as he was with his past job. He did tell her yesterday that she will get paid when he gets paid. She bitches about the mail not showing up the next day, & he told her again yesterday that if she'd just open a bank account we could simply transfer the money as soon as it hits our bank.
If he worked for a bigger
If he worked for a bigger company I wouldn't be so concerned about her interacting with them, but he works in residential construction. His boss is the owner of a contracting company & DH is one of 5 employees. The owner has a business to run & likely isn't going to respond well to her BS calls. Not to mention, with so many people in that field looking for work, he'd lose his job in a minute for someone without the baggage.
Again, I am all about having it go through DCSE.
Nope. DH has suggested it a
Nope. DH has suggested it a number of times over the years. When he was laid off the first time & support was no longer coming out of his paychecks we started sending personal checks. She was furious because the only way she could cash those was to drive the 1 1/2 hours to OUR bank. She told him she needed money orders so she could cash them at Walmart. At that time, it was a problem for us because it cost us $3 to purchase the MO & it cost her $3 to cash it. Granted, $3 isn't a lot of money, but when it's a weekly thing, it adds up, & it was just to convenience her. Fortunately it was a week or 2 after that they started charging only 60 cents to purchase & it costs her nothing to cash. With the idea of having to shell out $3 every week because she didn't have a bank account, he kept asking why. She keeps trying to tell him that no bank will open an account without you keeping $50 in it. He told her she was full of shit. Hell, I opened an account with a credit union, simply because THEY put $5 into my account to have me sign on.
I know why she can't open a checking account. She has an account outstanding that's $300 in debt. I know because I saw the judgement for it on the court website. Everytime he approaches the idea, she says, "I need you to respect my choice not to have an account".
So, currently we pay by money order.