OH trying to force relationship between me and SS17
Hi All,
Its been a while since Ive been on here, I think im storing things up lol. Anyways, as you may (or may not be) aware from my blog, my relationship with SS17 is none exsistant. Anyway, as per usual, SS17 is hitting out.....again.....and everyone is expected to feel sorry for poor old SS17.....except I dont.
OH admitted (lol!) that he was "scared to talk to me about this" (lol again! Im sorry!). Thursday night SS17 kicked off, and "went missing"...his usual trick....so daddy went running, found him, then bought the smelly git home!! (When I say smelly, I genuinely mean it. He doesnt wash, himself or his clothes, severely poor hygiene cos he doesnt think it matters!) I went to bed and left them to it, had no convo with SS17 at all, although I was civil ish......OH comes up to bed after taking SS17 back home and says "Oh...I feel sorry for SS17, he has no one to turn to" blah blah blah blah, the usual s**t....the OH literally gobsmacks me by saying "I know its hard for you, cos I know you dont like him, with everything thats happened!"...I was like WHOA!!!! Its not a case of me "likeing" him, he doesnt like me, nor does he respect me, so how am I supposed to attempt any relationship????
This led to my weekend being a whole weekend of OH thinking and doing a "lets find lovely things to tell you about SS17"...LETS NOT HEY! OH is convinced (cos SS17 told him so...) that SS17 DOES like me, and OH tried to convince me due to the fact that OH apparently asked SS17 if he wanted to move back in (very, very VERY bad move by OH, I was f*****g FUMING!) without speaking with me first, SS17 said NO (THANK THE LORD!) so OH said "is it because of StessedStep"...No said SS17......and so OH is convinced!
OH reckons that poor SS17 is mixed up cos of the way BM has been. NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! GET A BLOODY GRIP!!! SS17's problem? BM did indeed let him get away with murder, no school for two years, no time limit, no routine NOTHING. Then BM got into a NORMAL relationship, and BM's partner was like "nah...cant live with kids being that disrespectful!" (which I quite agree with)...so BM tried to rein SS17 in....SS17 blamed and bitched about BM to dad....dad took skids side and slated BM.....turned out BM was right about a WHOLE lotta things and SS17 is just a s**t...so Dad tried to assist BM in reining SS17 in and SS17 was like "no f*****g way!".....SS17 doesnt WANT rules. He wants to live his life his way and everyone elese should deal with that and be there when and if he requires......and BM can see it, BM's partner can see it, friends can see, I can defo see it.....OH cannot!
In the end OH said "I admit that he has not been good, and that everything SS17 ahs said and done to you has been bad, and Im sorry for that, but he does like you, he is a good kid"
I simply said "SS17 doesnt like me, doesnt respect me. Nothing you say or do will convince me otherwise. Its been 4 years, and there has been no changes for the better only worse. You need to accept that my mind will not be changed"
This, is all because apparently, SS17 had been kicked out if where he was living nd needed somewhere to live. I believe OH finally cottoned o to the fact that I will not live with SS17, and Im willing to live separately to prevent it too.
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Comments
Actually - it's reverse
Actually - it's reverse psychology - if someone tells you "lovely things" about someone you already don't like - it's gonna make you not like them more!! My DH does this with me about SD19 and SD17. He's more or less given up, though, because they've both done so much to piss me off, over the years, that it's a forlorn hope that I'll ever change my mind about them, barring them both having personality transplants.
DH, like your DH used to tell me that they liked me. What rot! Finally after a mega blow up at Xmas, when SD19 put on paper the reasons she hated me, he has stopped saying that. Thank goodness.
Now we can just admit we don't like each other and live with it. It's so much more honest. Like you, I refuse to have either of them live with us, and was willing also, to move out to prevent it. Fortunately, doesn't look like that's going to be necessary.
Hi Kes...thats is so true!!
Hi Kes...thats is so true!! lol
Ive helped out so much with his kids in just 4 years, and the thought of a lifetime dealing with their crap fills me with dread. Ive started opening up more about it though, trying to remove the "wool" covering OH's eyes! All this has done, is convinced him more that he "cant" have "his boys" live with him. He seems to forget what they have done to him too.