Its been a few years since I've posted here. Don't even know what me think of this site. But It was a massive source of comfort to me when i really needed it the most! 

My most recent blogs; I was pregnant. SS19 dosser eventually did one, only to be replaced with the elder one SS21. He stayed right up to the end of my complicated and high risk (as it turned out to be) pregnancy. 4 months gone, OH decided to inform me he had a Cocaine habit and that he had debt from it too! Had even bought it into my house with my DD! I forgave him, wanted change across the board. Fast forward to the birth (my baby boy is a resus, but fought his way back!!), finally no step kids dossing.

My relationship with OH last just over 12 months from the birth. The damage sustained to my mind before, during and after pregnancy was too much. MIL liked to stick her nose in (OHs other kids mom is shite! So MIL had to step and sort of play mom to them. She didn't like that this grandchild didn't need a replacement parent and she grew jealous). 

My DD is now nearly 11 and my DS is nearly 4. I still talk to EX, and see his kids rarely. Eventually SD moved away with her mom so EX only sees her now and again due to distance....and all i could think is WHY THE HELL DIDNT SHE MOVE YEARS AGO!! SS19 went with her and SS21 sort of stopped coming over! Life would have been perfect! 

I'm under no doubt that some families manage the step malarky and all get on well. But I know in my heart if it wasn't for the step kids and EX being guilt ridden and overcompensating, our relationship would have lasted for life. I loved that man, still do... but I can never NEVER go back to that. I've not started dating (been on my own for over 2 years now) but I know i don't want to meet anyone who has kids already.

So my message? I'd like to stick around and support in my experience if I can. But don't ever let them stepkids take you down. My EX knew in the end, he knew my mind had gone and no way he could get it back. He knew and still knows the damage he allowed his kids and himself to cause. Stay strong