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TV needs to portray real SM/SD/SK lives

svillemomof4's picture

Submitted by svillemomof4 on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:17pm

I know everyone remembers the Brady Bunch and step by step and all those other wonderful shows about how two family's can become one happy and loving family with no BM/BD issues. We were all fooled! Until I met DH I had only dated one guy who had kids, my DD's dad. And that wasn't too bad, we didn't live together so I didn't have the real SM role. I just figured kids would be great, I had always wanteda big family so adding two more was perfect. Boy was I wrong.
Nothing is like on tv or in the movies. I wonder if tv had a lifelike SF with lifelike issues if people would get a wake up call? Probably not. I wouldn't trade my DH for the world but I would trade YSD for a bag of dog poop.

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DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:22pm

Yesterday one of my friends posted on FB "Is there any job more difficult than being a mother??" the first person to comment said "Being a step mother" WORD!!!!! I wish there was a love button, and what was really eye opening to me was to see that just like we see here everyday, there are apparently a lot of other people out there living this nightmare.

but I think we're still in an era where everyone feels like you have to portray yourself as the Brady Bunch or people will think you're a horrible person. I WISH someone would do a documentary, a movie, a reality show.. SOMETHING that show the REAL step world.

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:24pm

I agree, but to your point on everyone wanting to be the brady bunch... I think there are high expectations for moms in nuclear families as well. There is so much judgment amongst women in general- are you a SAH or working mom? Did you breastfeed? Is that juice box organic? How old did your child potty train/walk/talk/fart etc.

I wish all moms could say "this job is hard but I'm doing the best I can" and that all SMs could say the same thing.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:31pm

Agree, without a doubt! I remember feeling like a horrible mother because BS4 didn't give up his bottle until 15 months. That BS4 was not potty trained until 3.6. Because oh my, such and such's daughter was potty trained at 18 months and such and such's son graduated from college at 2.

I think social media plays a huge role, now a days! I think it fuels the competition fires which is ridiculous, because anyone with 1/2 a brain knows that what people post on FB vs. what goes on in their "REAL" world is like comparing monkeys to buffalos

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:22pm

I think the movie stepmom started on the right track... the younger boy liked the SM, the older girl despised her and was disrespectful to her and would gossip to the mom about her. The mom pulled the stunt with the concert tickets etc. Unfortunately the movie took a turn to the mom being sick and one big happy family crap.

I keep wanting to see a show similar to parenthood but with a step/blended dynamic in it. The entire show doesn't have to be about that, just one family and one story line that accurately portrays some of the common issues in step life. Everything from the blended family showing up to an extended family function only to hear "where are the kids? You couldn't switch?" to individual step family trying to navigate the financial issues, boundaries, double standards etc.

svillemomof4's picture

Submitted by svillemomof4 on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:37pm

Let the red carpet roll out! It would be a hit! Of course, crazy BM's would be going off the deep end when they saw their true selves portrayed on tv. There would be no way to spin their lies then! I'm with ya Smile

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:39pm

probably why no one has attempted to do it... there would be drama and law suits galore from the nut job BMs who want everyone to think they are MOTY!

svillemomof4's picture

Submitted by svillemomof4 on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:45pm

Those are my favorite! They can be caught red handed by a ton of people and still try to spin the story to make them look like the victim! Makes me sick!

BadFairyII's picture

Submitted by BadFairyII on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 1:58pm

Does anyone remember the Real Housewives that included the couple Jo and Slade? Before Slade was a deadbeat dad and with Gretchen, he was engaged to a woman named Jo. Slade shared custody with BM, so his kids were constantly around Jo. Their main arguments were about how Slade expected Jo to give up her lifestyle, and stay home and play mom to his kids. It was a classic case of falling for a woman, intending to change her once you have her committed to you.

He dated and fell for a free spirited, fun loving girl. Once he had her heart, and had her financially dependent up on him, he wanted her to become Mrs. Brady. If you want Mrs. Brady, date Mrs. Brady. Yes, Mrs. Brady isn't going to be hot, but maybe you don't get both hot and Mrs. Brady in this life. Deal with it. Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, what's ironic, is that now Slade never seems to have his kids. He ruined his relationship with Jo over kids that aren't even in his life anymore.

DarlinCompanion's picture

Submitted by DarlinCompanion on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:09pm

The closest I ever came to seeing something productive on the "not all Dads are non-custodial eow parents and the BM is not a walking martyr to motherhood" trope was a show I don't even watch...called "Suburgatory," I think? It was on by chance and I watched it with DH.

Anyway, in that particular episode, the BM had pretty much been MIA during the daughter's life, but one day BM shows up and took the daughter on some BFF spa trip. The kid ended up going home to be with dad...I forget why, it wasn't anything tragic or outstanding, but the kid saw the BM for her true colors.

I was shocked to see this on TV, to say the least.

svillemomof4's picture

Submitted by svillemomof4 on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:15pm

Yep, that is Suburgatory. Tessa is the kid but she is a very mature kid. But from what I've seen it doesn't touch much on that anymore. The one chance they had of joining a step family on there got ruined. The parents get along great with the kids but the two kids hate each other. Of course monotone Dalhia hates everyone so go figure.

DarlinCompanion's picture

Submitted by DarlinCompanion on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:18pm

Well, that sucks, I guess.

Whatever happens, tv producers will have to change their tune eventually because stepfamilies will be (are?) in the majority at this rate.

rainbow bright83's picture

Submitted by rainbow bright83 on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:18pm

portray the real SM/SD/SK lives.... It would have to be released as a horror/drama!

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:22pm

Daddy's Girl - LOL here is the description

Sweet 11-year-old Jody conceals a dark persona beneath her cheerful exterior, brutally murdering anyone who stands between her and her dad.

Available on NETFLIX instant streaming. Biggrin

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:23pm

Or this one:

Mother's Boys

3.5 stars ..
After abandoning her family, Jude Madigan returns home and starts on an obsessed path towards reclaiming her former life.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 2:27pm

HA HA - Oh man that is terrible. The question is has your DH watched it?

tabby yabba do's picture

Submitted by tabby yabba do on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 3:06pm

I think I could love my skids if I got to run my home like a classroom, with rules and expectations, and could send any misbehaving skid to the principal's office when she didn't listen, and there were other nice kids around to distract me, and I got the summers off and they never spent more than 4-6 hours a day with me with no overnight visits, and I didn't have to feed them or clothe them or worry about their hygiene, and I got paid $xx,xxx/year with benefits for doing it.

Yeah, I could maybe love them then Smile lol just kidding, teacher-friends

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/08/2014 - 3:22pm

WOW - what a great post tabby. The first part about just boils down to boundries. IF we were able to do that we would at least have a better shot at it. I am going to use the teacher scenario sometime when someone gives me this whole steps should love all children the same!