Do you worry when your DH ......
After, having a couple of weeks where he has had contact from the skids, is feeling all warm and fuzzy in lala land ( DH's rose tinted perfect kids, perfect life fantasy) and then this happens.....
We begin to argue about the skids more, he is asking me if I have a problem with this,a problem with that, all step related, same old rows from before, as always..... The tin of skid related worms is opened and the rows continue over the weekends. I withdraw, as I am trying NOT to be pulled into this again, when I am always the big bad WICKED EVIL SM BITCH !!! Yawn !!!! These are ADULT skids, are we to continue to row about the same things, that never change for like FOREVER ????
So we end up doing the kind of frosty polite coolness we always get to after these rows, usually it lasts like three or four days, but BAM, this time DH is being extra nice and turning it around. I'm suspicious, I'm a VERY good judge of people's behaviour, I have a funny feeling, I go and have a quick check up on skids. Youngr skid is EMO posting online,about his terrible life, family who don't like him, friends who turn against him, he is bored, can't find a job ( ONE year of waiting for one to land in his lap, no other part time jobs before that, was never pressed by DH and the BM to get one, etc, etc) Dropped out of school last year, due to low grades..... This is the skid who only a couple of months ago was posting about his LOSER Dad, you may remember ?? The loser Dad who still pays CS for an ADULT, pays for holidays, etc, etc !!! What a loser, eh ???
NOW, skid is posting " Seriously deciding whether to move in with my Dad, and start OVER !!" :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I wonder, if skid has already been moaning to DH about this, in their convos ?? CS is coming to an end in a few more months, I have already said to DH, I wonder how long it will be AFTER that BM throws him out ??? Hmmmmm ??? The knock on effect, is I guess, DH has turned super nice to me, am I being buttered up here, or am I just paranoid ???
Please let me be just paranoid, I love the DH, and hate doubting his love and respect for me, especially if he pulls this move on me.....
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You can be damn sure this
You can be damn sure this waster kid will not do any better living at your house than at BM's, and within a few weeks will be bemoaning his/her lot again.
I foresaw this coming (ie when CS ends, NPD BM will be wanting US to take on the SDs. ) I have made it clear to DH that if SD17 lands up on our doorstep, I will be taking the first train out of here.
After 10 painful years, that seemed like 100, I feel I have "done my time" with his high maintenance offspring and am NOT going to take on any young adults that NPD BM has spent 17 years messing up. She made her bed, she can effing well lie in it.
We have discussed this
We have discussed this before, believe me, but I still kinda have a feeling ......
It's quite difficultt to move to this country, it costs a fortune in legal fees, visas, etc, and they are VERY strict about you being able to be independant and offer real job skills, ALL of this can take years to happen and DH has already said he's not offering a free ride to them,but you know how sometimes they ( DHs ) make all the right noises, anything for a peaceful life !!!
I'm already thinking about how to handle such convos if they raise their ugly head again...... Sigh....
I guess, it may be that DH is buttering me up to agree to a long visit from the skid, when he promised me, that he was waiting for said skid to get a job, and start earning money, before he thought about anything like this..... Guess it's one rule ( that's NO RULES !! ) for the skids and DH and another rule for me ( and other SMS )
Oh Dear Lord, read my blogs.
Oh Dear Lord, read my blogs. This my DH.... I had to start counseling again today, because this nonsense of DH putting ideas and fantasies into skids heads and then telling me AFTER decisions have been made, skids manipulating to the point that EVERYONE but DH can see it, skids using DH to the point where EVERYONE but DH can see it... are literally driving me insane.
It drives me nuts that these kids get to just jump back and forth from one home to the other, always leaving a wake of drama and discontent behind them because each parent is harboring this stupid guilt trip. Guess what? When things get rough at some point for BSB2 during his teenage years in my household, where the hell is he going to go? NOWHERE. He will buck up and deal with it, like NORMAL people do and he will not grow up to feel that he is entitled to everything simply because he exists. ARGHHHH
I would be paranoid too. My
I would be paranoid too. My SS is only 5, but I told DH if when SS is a teenager and BM decides she can't handle it anymore, there is no way he will be coming with us. She is raising that kid to be an entitled deadbeat, I can see it already. She is currently making her bed, in 10 years, she can lie in it. Hell, two weeks ago SS told me "Coconut, if you turn on the vacuum, I won't be able to hear the TV." I was getting ready to vacuum up the bone pieces the dog left on the carpet. I wanted to smack that kid upside the head. I bet his mother would have just let it go. Ugh! But when he becomes a wild teen that she let get out of control, I don't want him in my house. And at 18, you either need to get a job and move out, or be in college.
It does seem like you are being buttered up. I think you may want to get a counselor on speed dial. As soon as your DH suggests it, you will want to be prepared.
Good luck with this. This will be my future, I can already see it.