Being a NCsp where the skids were given some power of coming and not coming........unless she is in danger she needs to go.

My SD would go home crying because she didn't like the tone of voice her dad used when talking to her.

My SS went home crying to his mom because I called him down on bullying my DD who by the way requested not to be there when SS was there because he hit her- and she didn't tell me but asked her grandma if she could come to her house on the weekends that SS was with us.

We make them own up to their actions and pay the consequences of what is done...... They don't like it.

If there is danger use the courts to stop the visitation other than that both parents should be involved.

If the CO says BM gets visitation then the Skid gets no say.

If there are issues of neglect or abuse at BMs then drag her ass to court and get her visitation stopped.

Visitation is the NCPs right, not the kid's. The kid gets ZERO say.

IMHO of course.

I agree with Leahmcc, a child that age doesn't get to make the decision. And I say take what you hear from a 10yo, with a grain of salt.

If you honestly feel she's in danger that's another story but there's a vast array of opinions on what's appropriate parenting. Unfortunately, when you are divorced you lose the right to 100% parent your child, you are forced to defer to the other parent on their parenting time.

Again, abuse and real, serious neglect do not apply !

I would however make sure she knows some things she can do should she be in danger. And make sure she understands what kind of situations you'd expect her to act on. Kids don't always make the best judgement calls, lol. Make sure she knows who to call and how to do it. Give her some comfort items to take. Decide a set time to call to check in so she knows she can count on that.

In other words, teach her to cope and adapt to a situation she can't necessarily control.

When my SD was 10 she did this same thing... only her grandmother (who has custody of her) let her choose. We might have seen SD 5 times during that year, because grandma wouldn't make her come and SD had some "drama" concocted in her head all the time. She'd get scared or say she was sick in the middle of the night the few times she did come and DH would have to drive her home and all kinds of crazy things.. she eventually grew out of it (she is 13 now), but I can tell you it ripped DH apart that his daughter didn't want to see him. I think it might be the age, puberty is setting in and every little tiny thing tends to be the most dramatic event of their little lives.

Of course as others have said, she may very well be in danger, but that would have to be determined by your DH/CPS and until then, she should go whether she cries about it or not.